I'd Do Anything
by Detective Olivia Stabler
Summary: This is a combination of an idea I had a few months ago & a request from a reader on here. It is set somewhere within a few months after Season 9: Inconvincible, after Olivia tells Elliot she had considered adoption and been turned down.
1. 1 Reality

**Authors Note: **** This story is a combination of an idea I had a few months ago and had never really had the time to sit down and form and a request from someone on here. I have never really written anything by request for someone else so we will see how it goes. This is set somewhere within a few months after Season 9: Inconvincible, after Olivia tells Elliot she had considered adoption and been turned down. Also, in this story Elliot and Kathy are divorced. Lawral, this one's for you! Please give me feed back and let me know what you think! **

_**I'd Do Anything**_

_**(Chapter One: Reality)**_

**Olivia sat on the park bench tying her shoe as she listened to the laughter of the children playing nearby. It was a beautiful day and the air was crisp, Fall would be here soon. She exhaled deeply as she watched a mother with two young children playing on the swings. The girl was half her age and very obviously into the second trimester of her third pregnancy. She watched as the girl placed her hand on her belly feeling the baby move inside. Moments later she caught herself with her hand in the same place on her own flat abdomen and wondering if she would ever feel her own child inside her. Part of her envied this girl. But she didn't quite understand why.**

**Olivia stood and began running once more down the same path she took every day. Ironic, she thought to herself as she felt the asphalt of the jogging path under her feet, that it could be her sick obsession with perfection that could prevent her from having her own child. She wanted to wait, until she had her career established. But that wasn't enough. She wanted the husband and the house, the idealistic family every woman wants. But it never seemed to happen. Each time she allowed herself to get serious with a man, something just wasn't right. She could never picture herself raising a child with him, he wouldn't make a good father or he didn't want children at all. **

**Now she found herself at a point in her life where the one thing she wanted more than anything, was the one thing she may never have. What if it was too late? What if her time had run out? Until now she had always thought those women who spoke of biological clocks and missing out on their chance to be a mother were foolish. Until now, she thought she had more time. It wasn't until recently, within the last year that she had even fully convinced herself that she wanted children. Infact it was a decision greatly influenced by her partner and his family. Seeing Elliot with his children, watching them grow and knowing how much he loved them and cared for them made her long to share that kind of love with someone as well. **

**There was a point in her life where Olivia was scared to death to have children. Not knowing what traits she may pass to her unborn child. Unsure if she was capable of loving someone and committing herself solely to the well being and care of another person. She wanted it, she longed for it, but was haunted by her own past. **

**The fact that she herself had been given such an unstable childhood. Raised by an alcoholic mother who turned to threats and abuse instead of affection when she was afraid. A mother who rarely held her or comforted her and never told her daughter that she loved her or wanted her. Merely reminded her, sometimes daily that she chose to allow her to exist. **

**Olivia loved her mother. But even now, years after the woman had passed away she struggled with trust and love and relationships because of the way the woman raised her. Olivia often wondered if it wouldn't have been better if she had been given up for adoption and given a chance to grow up in a healthy loving environment. Maybe she wouldn't have been so badly damaged and found it so hard to allow her self to love and express her own emotions. **

**But Serena Benson was gone now. And it was up to Olivia to decide what kind of woman she would choose to be. She was the only one who could make things happen for her, a lesson she learned maybe at a tender age. And she wanted to be a mother. She knew if given the chance, she could be a better mother than her own could have ever been. **

**Olivia stopped in front of her apartment and stretched on the steps before taking out her keys and going inside. It was nearly seven o'clock now and she had just enough time to grab a hot shower and another cup of coffee before she had to be at work.**

**She climbed out of the shower and dressed quickly then it was out the door and off to another day. Olivia approached Elliot's desk and sat down the file she had taken home to study. She glanced up at the pictures of his kids in frames all over his desk. Yet another reminder that she still hadn't reproduced. **

**Olivia stood still for a minute as she stared at his latest picture of baby Eli. She reached across the desk and picked up the frame as she brushed her finger tips gently across the baby's dimples and her mind flashed back to that terrifying day when she witnessed his birth in the back of an ambulance. She looked into his blue eyes and smiled. He had his father's eyes, the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. Olivia stood there for a moment and tried to imagine what her own child would look like.**

"**There you are," Elliot said from behind her.**

**Olivia jumped a little as he startled her and she sat the frame back on the desk.**

"**He's getting so big," she said with a smile.**

"**Yeah, he's got colic and still does not sleep through the night. I don't remember having this much trouble with the others."**

"**You weren't this old with the others," she said with a smile as she draped her jacket across the back of her chair.**

"**You're right. Things have changed so much since the twins were this age." **

"**You're a lucky man, El."**

"**Yeah, lucky they all look like Kathy," he joked picking up a picture of the five children.**

**Olivia smiled and sighed quietly as she sat back in her chair.**

"**Have you thought any more about it?"**

"**Thought anymore about what?" She knew exactly what he was talking about, but somehow hoped that by playing dumb to his more than obvious question he would get the hint and drop it. **

"**About starting your own family."**

**Apparently Elliot wasn't so great at taking hints. "I don't know. I mean, I am still not sure motherhood is even for me. That is all I need is to damage some poor innocent child the way my mother damaged me. Some people just shouldn't have children, Elliot."**

"**Liv, I don't think you are one of those people. You would be an amazing mother."**

**How could she possibly tell him that this was the only thing that she ever thought about anymore? That she was horrified by their case with the Hudson Cryobank a few months earlier, because she herself had contacted them considering using their services to become pregnant herself. That idea was of course put on the back burner during the case and hadn't quite fully worked it's way back into position. **

"**Thanks Elliot. But, it isn't exactly something I would do on my own."**

"**What do you mean? You have me and everyone here would support you."**

"**Well, I know. I just…." Olivia felt unsettled as a look of sadness crossed her face. "Nothing. It's nothing. Definitely not anything I want to discuss here."**

"**Okay, I can take a hint."**

"**You can, huh? I have only been trying to drop the conversation for the last fifteen minutes."**

"**Oh, sorry."**

**Olivia smiled and they both laughed.**

**That night after work she sat around her apartment, but couldn't clear her head. She slipped on her shoes, grabbed her keys and hailed the first cab to her favorite local bar. She needed a drink to get this mess off her mind.**

**Olivia sat alone at the bar and ordered a drink. Not a beer, she needed a real drink. A few minutes later she flagged the bartender for a refill.**

"**Vodka Martini…"**

"**Straight up, two olives."**

**She smiled and turned around on her barstool to see Elliot standing behind her.**

"**What are you doing here?"**

"**I spend a lot of time here now that I am a single man. Just hoping I will catch the chance to pick up a conversation with a beautiful woman such as yourself. This must be my lucky night." Olivia smiled as Elliot tossed some cash on the bar and paid for both their drinks. "You want to get a table?"**

"**Lead the way!"**

**A few minutes later they sat across from each other at a table in the back. The bar was empty except for the bartender, two guys playing pool in the front and the two of them. Elliot sat and stared at Olivia as she twirled the toothpick in her drink. Obviously something was on her mind and he was pretty sure he knew what it was. **

"**You just what?" He asked her.**

**She shifted her eyes up to look into his. A look of confusion crossed her face.**

"**What?"**

"**I said I would support you. You said you know, you just…."**

**She smiled hesitant to start the exact conversation she had come in here to forget.**

"**Nothing."**

"**It is something. If it was nothing, Olivia, it wouldn't still be bothering you."**

**She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as she stared down at the table and curled the cocktail napkin with her fingertips. "I know what it is like to grow up with out a father. I don't want my kid to go through that too, that's all. I believe that a baby should have a mother and a father. Or I would at least like to know who he was. Not just some number and profile out of a binder from a man who may have fathered hundreds of other children. God only knows if the things they say in those little mini biographies are even true."**

**Elliot stared her down. "You sound like you have read a few."**

**Olivia looked almost embarrassed and refused to look up at him. "I'm just saying…"**

**Elliot reached across the table and placed his hand on hers. "Have you ever really considered it?"**

**She looked at him and he could see the tears behind her eyes.**

"**Liv, there is nothing wrong with that. You deserve the chance to be a mother."**

"**I decided not to do it."**

"**Why?"**

"**Because, every man in the catalogue sounded exactly the same. They only tell you what you want to hear. Like photo copies of the same page, but they change the number at the top and the name of the Ivy League school he graduated from. I'm sure Elliot, that Ivy League graduates stand in line at places like that to make their donations in little plastic cups."**

**Elliot laughed.**

"**It isn't funny!"**

"**Of course it isn't. Liv, I just didn't realize you were this serious about this. Why didn't you tell me you checked it out?"**

"**It isn't exactly the kind of thing you advertise. I'm taking the kids camping this weekend….. Oh really, I'm shopping for the father of my unborn child. I have no idea what he looks like but his profile sounds hot! Come on Elliot!"**

"**Well, what about some of the guys you have dated? Some of them weren't that bad."**

**Olivia wrinkled her nose at the thought. "Elliot, you have to have sex with someone to get pregnant."**

**Elliot sat quiet for a minute not sure what to say.**

"**I have not dated anyone in quite a while. I have had a few nightmarish dates, but the last guy I dated turned out to be someone else's husband!"**

"**Do you still have his number?"**

**She glared at him from across the table.**

"**It was a joke. You know, all it takes is once. We could find you a guy."**

"**I don't want to get knocked up by some guy I picked up in a bar for the sole purpose of getting pregnant. Besides, that is just dirty. I mean how would you feel if today you found out that a one night stand you had years ago resulted in a child you never knew you had."**

"**Good point."**

"**Besides with my luck I would end up with a number of things and a baby wouldn't be one of them!"**

"**Okay….what about a donor? Someone you know?"**

"**Well, I could ask Cragen or Munch or Fin." She shot him a sarcastic glare.**

"**Olivia…"**

**She looked up at him and took a deep breath.**

"**What?"**

**Elliot reached for her hand again and held it a second as he looked at her. He then stood up from his chair and walked around to her side of the table and sat down on the bench as he slid in next to her. She turned and looked at him. Elliot touched his fingers gently to hers.**

"**What if I…"**

**She looked at him unsure if he was joking.**

"**This isn't funny, Elliot." **

"**I am being serious."**

"**You would…"**

**He thought about it for a second. "Well, yeah."**

"**Why?"**

"**Because Liv, I know what this means to you. Olivia, you are my best friend. We are like family and there is nothing I want more in the world than for you to be happy. What is the one thing you want more than anything in the world?"**

"**A baby," she whispered softly staring down at the table as a tear fell beside her hand.**

"**Look, have always told you I would do anything for you. I would give you a kidney if you needed one with out a second thought, how is this any different?"**

"**It just is."**

"**Not to me. This is the one dream you cannot make come true on your own. And I can help you make it come true. Nobody has to know, if you don't want them to. This would be your baby. Same as if you used a donor from a catalogue. Only you know me, my medical history, my genetics. And you have seen my children."**

"**You make beautiful children and I am flattered that you would even offer. I just can't help but think that is a line we shouldn't cross."**

"**What is the big deal, Liv. It would be no different than if you went into that clinic and chose a donor. How do you know that I have not donated there? The baby could turn out to be mine anyway. Only this way you know for sure who fathered your child. And you know if you ever needed anything, I would be there for you."**

"**Elliot, it has been a long day and I think we should both go home and get some sleep."**

"**Olivia, just think about it. Honestly consider it for a few days and if you still think it is a bad idea, I will understand. But at least think it through before you turn down the offer."**

"**You honestly want another child? It doesn't bother you that you already have five? And what about Kathy and the kids? What are they going to think? Are you even going to tell them? And what would happen to us Elliot? What would this make us? I mean how exactly how involved would you want to be with a child if no one knows it is yours?"**

"**I would know and you would know. Liv, it doesn't matter who your kids father is I still would like to be a part of his or her life. I don't have to be the baby's father, I could be like an uncle or something. And it is none of Kathy's business, we are divorced. I no longer have to care what she thinks."**

"**I don't know."**

"**Think about it. Take your time. You know, you don't have to do anything now. But at least know it is an option."**

"**You are really serious about this?"**

"**Liv, I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't."**

**She looked at him with tears in her eyes and smiled. "Elliot, you don't know what it means to me that you would even offer," she whispered as a tear rolled off her cheek.**

**Elliot reached up and brushed a tear from her cheek. "Like I said, I'd do anything for you." **


	2. 2 Choices We Make

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Two: Choices We Make)_

A week had passed without mention of their conversation in the bar. Elliot knew that it wasn't because she hadn't thought about it, it was the only thing on her mind. He had been watching her all week in some far off world of her own, distracted and unable to focus as she doodled little scribbles across the top of a legal pad that looked like something one of his children may have created in their younger days. It bothered him to see her like this. Why was she being so stubborn? This was obviously what she wanted and he was all but handing it to her, yet still she hesitated.

Elliot took a deep breath and cleared his throat as Cragen walked toward them. Olivia sat up in her chair and flipped the page to some notes from earlier in the case and pretended to be having a conversation with Elliot about the details.

"So, you definitely think we should check out the landlord?" She asked with a look of panic in her eyes as she stared at Elliot.

"That's a great idea. I will get the car," he said smiling and trying not to laugh. Olivia was a hard worker, but for some reason had accomplished pretty much nothing this entire week. She kept slipping off into her little daydreams and had doodled on just about every page in her legal pad. He was going to her to sit her down and straighten this mess out before she ended up in some kind of real trouble because she was unable to focus at work.

In the car she sat quietly all the way across town gazing out the window looking almost depressed. Elliot stared at her then nudged her arm with his elbow. She turned her eyes to look at him only for a second.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"I didn't say anything, Liv."

"Oh."

"Okay, that's it!" He said as he pulled over the car and refused to drive again until she told him what was bothering her.

"Elliot it isn't that big of a deal."

"Olivia, it is starting to effect your work. You have done nothing but doodle little pictures all week. It looks like a preschooler got a hold of your notes and today you just about got caught. Have you thought about it?"

She turned her eyes to look at him as if the answer were more than obvious.

"I mean, have you decided?" He watched her face as he waited for her to answer.

"I just don't know. It is a really big thing to decide in a week."

"What is there to decide really? You either want to or you don't. And if you didn't, it wouldn't be effecting you this way and we wouldn't be having this conversation."

She looked at him knowing he was right. "I want it, more than anything. But wanting something does not mean that you should have it. I don't want to be selfish about this, Elliot. Look at my life now. I work all of the time and I am hardly ever home. I could be killed on any given day. What kind of a life is that for a baby?"

"Olivia, no one but you can say if having a child is the right thing for you. But if it wasn't, that yearning for it would eventually go away."

She took a deep breath and gazed out the window again.

"Liv, I promise you it is a decision you won't regret. I have kids and they are the best thing in my life. Every thing I do in life is for them, every breath I take and everything I do is to better them. You have so much love for everyone around you. You deserve to share that with someone. You want a family, you have told be a hundred times. Let me help you."

She was crying now. He could see her reflection in the window and he watched her as she sniffled and wiped a tear from her cheek. She didn't like to cry, she hated it. But somehow he felt honored that he was one of few people she would allow herself to cry in front of. She was the strongest person he had ever known, but at the same time she was delicate and sweet and loving. She had so many wonderful qualities to pass on to a child and he had to make her see this. Elliot placed his hand on her shoulder. She took a jagged breath and turned to look at him through foggy eyes.

"Do you really think I should do this?"

"I really do," he nodded.

"We should get to work," she said quietly.

"I see. You just change the subject."

"El, this is not the time or place for this conversation."

"Okay. Come over tonight."

"Elliot…"

"No, come over tonight. I will cook you dinner and we'll open a bottle of wine and have this conversation. We can even get online and research our options a little more. I just want you to open to discuss this with me. Check out your options Olivia. Figure out what you want and I will do everything I can to help it happen. Just stop ignoring it," he said placing his hand against the side of her face, "before you wake up one day and realize that this was right for you and you waited too long."

"Okay," she said softly.

Elliot patted her shoulder and started the car again.

That night Olivia showed up at Elliot's apartment around seven o'clock.

"Hey," he said as he held the door open for her to enter.

"Hey."

"Liv, I am really glad you are here."

She smiled a soft smile. "What are you cooking? It smells wonderful."

"Grilling steaks, I hope you are hungry." Elliot handed her a bottle of beer as they walked out onto the balcony to check the food on the grill.

"I am always hungry," she replied with a smile. "You have been holding out on me Stabler, I didn't realize you liked to cook."

"I like to eat. And I live on my own, there is no one else to cook."

Olivia smiled and laughed at him.

"It's almost ready," he said walking back inside. "Help me with the salad."

At dinner they sat across the table from each other.

"Elliot this is so good."

"Umm, I almost forgot." He stood up and walked toward the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of her favorite red wine.

Olivia smiled as he poured a glass and handed it to her. "Thank you."

"You are a glass of wine with dinner kind of girl," Elliot said with a smile.

"I am a little bit of everything kind of girl," she replied smiling back at him.

"There are so many wonderful things about you Olivia Benson, things that any kid would be lucky to inherit."

"Okay, you have my attention, spill it."

"What?"

"Elliot, I know you enough to know when you are hiding something from me. And that grin, just gave you away. What did you do?"

"I may have…"

"May have what?"

"Called and made an appointment to check out another clinic in the area."

"What?"

"Well, I didn't think you would want to use Hudson Cryobank if we did this. It would be a little more private if we went somewhere no one knew us. It is just a consultation. You know, tour the facility and meet some of the doctors. Hear more about what they do and they can help us decide if this is something we are interested in."

"El, why did you do this?"

"Because Liv, you want this. I can see it in your eyes. It doesn't hurt to check into it. If you decide against it we are not out anything at all."

"I guess you're right."

"Look what else I found," he said bringing his lap top to the table.

Olivia smiled to see him so excited.

"You have already started your research?"

"Yes, I have. I found a link that gives all kinds of information about In Vitro Fertilization. Some of this is really interesting."

They sat together for the next few hours reading about the clinic and services they offered. Then looked up details and statistics of in vitro fertilization. Olivia got quiet for a few minutes and Elliot looked at her.

"What do you think?"

She got up from the computer and walked around the living room for a moment before sitting on the couch.

"Besides the obvious, it is really expensive and not guaranteed to work?"

"Don't worry about the money, I can get the money."

"I have money, Elliot. But what if we invest in this and it doesn't work?"

"Then we come up with another plan. But right now I think this is our best shot. With out actually, you know."

"Yes, I know."

"It is up to you. What do you think?"

Elliot sat down on the couch beside her and watched her as she sat quietly for a few moments.

"I really want this," she said softly.

He reached over and held her hand in his as Olivia looked into his eyes. "So do I," he said softly.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

They both smiled as Elliot leaned back on the couch and put his arm around her and she settled in against him.

"So that's it then?" She asked. "Just like that, we're going to have a baby together?"

"Just like that," he said as he kissed her forehead.

She laid her head against his chest.

"Think about it Liv, how beautiful our baby would be."

She smiled and he watched as tears filled her eyes. "Yeah," she said softly.

Elliot hugged her tight in his arms. "So it is a good thing I made that appointment?"

She looked up at his. "You knew you would talk me into it didn't you?"

"I'll tell you a secret, after the first time we talked bout it I knew I would talk you into it. Because I knew you wanted it as bad as I did."

"Elliot, you are the best best friend anyone could ever have."

"I know. I am pretty great."

They both laughed as she sat up and stared deep into his eyes. "I mean it. I love you." She locked her fingers inside his and smiled a shy smile.

"I love you, too." He said softly as he sat up and placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose.

She started to tear up again.

"Aww, come here." Elliot pulled her in against him and hugged her tight and held her for a second.

"Promise me this will never change," she whispered.

"Never," he said staring down at their fingers locked tight together. "Best friends forever," he said looking into her eyes. "You're stuck with me now."

Olivia smiled. "I kind of like being stuck with you."

"Oh you do, huh?"

"Yes. And if I am ninety years old sitting on the front porch next to my best friend surrounded by our grandchildren, I will never forget what he has done for me."

Elliot smiled and kissed her forehead, "I can't wait."


	3. 3 Chances We Take

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Three: Chances We Take)_

Olivia stood in front of her bathroom mirror reading the back of the box for the pregnancy test. This was their second cycle of in vitro fertilization in the last six months and she prayed it would work this time. She took a deep breath and tossed the box on the back of the sink. This was going to be the longest three minutes of her life.

She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water.

"Well?" Elliot asked her from the sofa with a look of excitement in his eye.

"Elliot, I just now peed on it. It can take anywhere from three to five minutes before you get results."

He got up and walked over to her. "I have a good feeling about this."

"Really?" She asked with a worried look in her eye.

"Liv, thousands of couples a year use this procedure to conceive their babies. It will work, it just takes a little time."

"But what if it doesn't work Elliot?"

"Then there is that thing where they just inject the sperm."

She smiled at him. "You sound so technical. They tried that first, then we moved to the in vitro. What am I going to do if this didn't work either?"

Elliot reached over and took her hand in his. "We are going to try again," he said kissing her forehead. "Come on," he said leading her by the hand down the hall toward the bathroom.

They stood outside the closed door for a second and just stared at each other. "Are you ready?" he asked staring into her eyes.

"I'm ready Elliot," she swallowed hard and he hugged her.

"This could be it. The moment we have been waiting for."

"You look, I can't."

"Okay," he said kissing her cheek before entering the bathroom. "Exactly what am I looking for?"

Olivia looked confused and walked in beside him to stare at the plastic stick. "What the hell?" She said picking up the box from the counter again. "Does that look like this or like this?"

"I don't think it looks like either one of those. Let me see that." Elliot pulled the paper from the box and read it carefully as he studies the pictures."

"This is ridiculous, Elliot! A fifteen year old can work these things and we can't even figure it out!"

"Wait, okay look it goes this way. There see, okay. It looks like that. What is that?"

Olivia stared at the picture for a minute quietly. "We want it to look like this one, El." She said softly as she dropped the pregnancy test into the trash and went back into the living room.

Elliot picked it up again turning it in every direction to see if he could make it look like she wanted it to. "These suck!" He said dropping it back into the trash and joining her in the living room. "Maybe we should just get a test that is easier to read."

"What is the use? I'm not pregnant."

"I'll make the call to the clinic and we can set an appointment to do it again. We'll just keep doing it until it works." He moved his hand to hold hers.

"Yeah," she replied without looking at him.

"Hey," Elliot said brushing her hair behind her ear, "I'm going to get you a baby." She looked at him through tears. "If I have to steal you one."

She laughed a little. Elliot squeezed her hand. "Why don't we both go down there this afternoon. We'll talk to the doctor and see if there is anything else we can do."

"Okay."

He pulled her against his chest and held her for a minute. Olivia took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "We'd better get going or we're going to be late," she said standing up and putting her shoes on.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should take today off."

"No, if I do I will just sit around here and go crazy. It will be okay. It is just going to take a little longer, that is all."

That afternoon during their lunch break Elliot and Olivia went to the clinic. The doctor completed a full examine on her and left her to get dressed before he returned to discuss options with them. She sat on the end of the table and waited for the doctor to return.

"Okay Olivia," he said as he entered the room. "Everything appears to be healthy. I took a blood sample and there are a few tests I would like to run on that. I think we can schedule you for another cycle in about two weeks."

"Okay."

"Do you have any other questions?"

"Yeah," Elliot spoke up. "Do you have any tips? Like anything that we could do to better our chances of getting pregnant?"

"Well, the obvious. The more often you do it, the better the chances. And you need to be completely comfortable and able to relax," he said turning to look at Olivia.

"Umm, okay. I try."

"When you are relaxed, you are more likely to orgasm. You are much more likely to become pregnant if you reach an orgasm."

Olivia looked shocked and turned her attention to Elliot. "Wait, we're not… No, he's talking about the in vitro."

"Oh, you guys are only using the in vitro cycles to conceive?"

"Well, yeah." She answered.

"There really aren't any other tricks. You just have to try and wait to find out."

"Oh," Elliot said, still recovering from the doctors comments.

He joked around with her as they left the clinic. "Wow, I was thinking exactly what is he doing with that needle?"

"Yeah, I was wondering exactly what part of that is supposed to make a woman orgasm, because trust me that was the furthest thing from my mind during the entire procedure."

"The look on your face, it was so funny."

She looked at him. "It wasn't funny."

"Just a little. You hungry? I'm buying."

"That is sweet."

"Well, I figure I just drove you to that place and stood by while some guy poked and prodded you. I could at least buy you lunch afterward."

She rolled her eyes at him.

The next day Olivia didn't see much of Elliot. He was working on a case with Munch and they were gone most of the day. Olivia got up the next morning and relaxed in a hot shower before heading to work.

That afternoon Elliot was looking for her and couldn't seem to find her anywhere. After about fifteen minutes he walked into the locker room. As he walked in he saw her with a needle trying to give herself some kind of injection. "Liv, what the hell are you doing?"

"Ahh. Can you help me? Please. I hate needles."

"What is this?" He asked taking the syringe from her hand as he walked back and locked the door so no one else would walk in on them.

"The doctor asked me to come back in yesterday. I guess the hormone levels in my blood were not high enough, he thought this might help. So I have to do these hormone injections once a day until we do the next cycle, maybe even longer. I have to do it every day at the same time. He gave me the first one yesterday. But I can't do it. I hate needles."

"Calm down. Let me see." Olivia slid her jeans off one side exposing part of her hip to him. "Right here?"

"Yeah," she said looking in his eyes.

Elliot leaned his face in close to hers as he gave her the shot. Olivia groaned in pain as she gripped tightly to his arm. "I'm sorry," Elliot said.

"No, it stings."

"Just a little prick," he said as she shifted her eyes to his and smiled.

"If you say so."

"Well, a little bigger than that." He said holding up the needle and they both laughed. "Are you okay?"

Olivia looked into his eyes. "Yes. Thank you."

He kissed her forehead. "Same time tomorrow?"

She laughed. "Same time tomorrow."

"Okay."

He walked back toward the door as she buttoned her jeans.


	4. 4 Third Time's A Charm

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Four: Third Time's A Charm)_

Elliot stood next to Olivia holding her hand as both tried to remain patient while waiting for the doctor to come in and perform the procedure.

"This is it, I can feel it." Elliot stared down at her with his piercing blue eyes. He was the only reason she hadn't given up already. And if he weren't right here holding her hand, she probably wouldn't be here this time.

"That is what you said the last two times I came in here," she sighed letting her anxiety about the situation take over. "Elliot?"

"Yeah?" He stared at her in his blue paper gown and the mask that covered his face made brought out the blue of his eyes. God she wanted her child to have those eyes.

"Thank you. For being here. Actually coming in here with me."

"There is no where else I would rather be. I wanted to be here in here before, but I wasn't sure you wanted me to."

She smiled a shy smile. "I wanted you in here, but I wasn't sure how to ask."

Elliot squeezed her hand tight.

"But you are here now," she said softly, nervously as she reminded herself to breathe.

"No one could keep me away, Liv. I want to be here for you and this baby every step of the way." She smiled at him again as he leaned down beside her cheek to whisper something into her ear. "Besides, I think it would be nice if I was actually in the room when our child is conceived. Third time's a charm!" He winked at her as she took a deep breath and smiled.

The sedative they had given her was starting to kick in and she was feeling a little loopy. Olivia had chosen to remain awake this time and the doctor would walk her through the procedure as it was performed. She had done this the last time as well and everything went fine, but she still could not help but be nervous. The room was warm and the air thick and the drugs they had given her were making her eyes heavy. She was nervous and felt it almost hard to breathe the heavy air that was filling her lungs.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just nervous. I hate doctors and hospitals and needles. And this waiting it killing me."

"It will all be over in just a little while," Elliot assured her and she could tell by the look in his eyes he was smiling under his mask.

"Okay Olivia, lets make a baby!" The doctor announced as he walked into the room and the nurses pulled on his gloves.

They had set up a screen over a microscope so that Elliot and Olivia could see their embryo's before implantation. Olivia felt her heart pounding in her chest as the nurse wheeled over a table full of surgical instruments for the doctor. She winced and gulped hard in her throat as she closed her eyes and panted.

"Is everything alright, Olivia?" The doctor asked as he sat on a stool and wheeled it over to the microscope.

"Fine," she gasped starting to tremble just a little. "I'm just nervous, I guess."

"I can give you more anesthesia if you like or put you all the way under like we did the first time."

"No, I want to be awake. Elliot is here," she said squeezing his hand, "I will be fine."

"Are you sure? Once we start it will be too late to change your mind."

"I'm sure. I'm okay."

"Alright. Now we have given you a shot to numb the cervix, but you will feel some pressure and possibly a little sting. I need you to lay as still as you can and remember to breathe. Afterward you will have to remain here and lie on you back for an hour. I will have to come in and examine you, make sure you are feeling okay and the drugs are wearing off then you should be able to go home. You should probably stay off your feet as much as possible at least the rest of today."

"Okay. I remember this from before."

"If you want to look up at that screen. These right here are your three day old ten cell embryos. I am going to suspend them in a drop of fluid and we will insert them using a transfer catheter. That is this long, flexible tube with a syringe on the end. I will insert this into the vagina, past the cervix and directly into the uterus and release the embryos. Now I did three during the last two cycles and we didn't get the results you were hoping for. I am going to use four embryos today."

"It all sounds so technical," Elliot said looking at the doctor.

"Well, it is. But it is a relatively quick procedure and hopefully in two weeks you will get a positive result on your pregnancy test. Are you ready to get started?"

"I'm ready," Olivia assured him.

A nurse assisted Olivia in sliding down to the edge of the table and placing her feet in the stirrups. As they raised the sheet that covered her and placed it on her knees.

Olivia began to breathe heavily and Elliot squeezed her hand again.

"Just try to relax," the nurse said calmly.

Let's see you relax when they stick that thing inside you! Olivia screamed inside her head. But she said nothing, only nodding her head in agreement.

"Okay Olivia, I am going to insert the catheter now. This shouldn't be painful, but you may feel a little pressure."

Olivia held her breath. It wasn't really painful. Not yet, this wasn't the painful part. She was just nervous as hell and ready for it all to be over. She rolled her eyes as the room started to spin. She gasped for air. She needed a focus point, something to concentrate on or she was going hyperventilate and to pass out for sure. She scanned the room for something, anything. Then Elliot leaned over her and stared into her eyes.

"How are you doing?" He asked leaning across her body and blocking everything behind him from her view.

"I'm okay," she lied. He was smiling again.

"You are such a bad liar," he whispered as he kissed her cheek through his mask and held tight to her hand.

"Talk to me," she whispered as she felt a tear roll off her cheek from the pressure pushing upward inside her.

Elliot leaned down and stared into her eyes. "Your smile…"

She smiled as she allowed herself to focus on nothing but the blue in his eyes, that was her focus point. It was like the air suddenly cleared and she was able to breathe again.

"Your hands," she whispered.

This was a sort of game they would sometimes play usually while awaiting the results of the pregnancy test. Naming off the traits that their child would have. It always calmed her and made her smile.

Elliot didn't take his eyes off hers. "Your laugh…."

"Your dimples…."

"Your eyes…."

"No. Your eyes," she said softly.

"My eyes? I always imagined you sitting in a rocking chair holding our baby with your pretty brown eyes."

"No. Your eyes," she insisted. "They are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."

She took a deep breath as she heard the words come out of her mouth. Was that too forward? God it almost sounded like she was coming on to him. Was she? Was she really flirting with Elliot while a doctor was hopefully impregnating her with his child? Was that even inappropriate? Probably, because he was Elliot. But the lines had become so blurred since all of this baby stuff had began.

She took another deep breath and stared deep into his eyes. Who cares if it was forward, she thought. She was only being honest. Besides if he said anything about it later she could always blame it on the drugs. God he had the sexiest eyes in the world. So cool and strong and soothing and….

"Olivia?" She rolled her eyes around to look down toward the doctor as she heard him say her name.

"Liv?" Elliot repeated.

"Yeah?" She exhaled.

The doctor stood up and pulled his mask down from his face.

"I said we are finished."

She exhaled deeply and raised her hand to wipe away the few tears that had managed to surface.

"How did it go?" Elliot asked with a what happens next kind of look on his face.

"Very well," the doctor answered. "You did wonderfully, my dear."

Olivia smiled relieved that his part was finally over.

"I'm going to have the nurses bring you in some blankets to help you be more comfortable. There is cable television and magazines on the desk. Not the same kind of magazines we keep in the uhh collection rooms," he joked. "Make yourselves at home."

"Is there anything I can get for either of you?" The assisting nurse asked with a smile.

"Some water," Olivia whispered.

"Sir? Coffee or a soft drink maybe?" She asked Elliot sounding more like a flight attendant than a procedure nurse.

"Coffee would be great thanks." Elliot sat in a chair next to Olivia's bed as the nurse elevated her head and covered her with a blanket.

Olivia looked around the room surprised how quickly it had been transformed from the scary procedure room to what now appeared to be a normal hospital room. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as the nurse returned with their drinks.

"Just push that call button if you need anything. You might feel a little groggy from the anesthesia and want to sleep, that is fine. We need to keep you at least an hour, but if you should manage to fall asleep we usually let you rest and keep you for two."

"Okay thank you," Olivia replied with a smile. She must really be racking up some frequent flier miles to be getting this kind of hospitality. This was her fourth procedure at this clinic in the last eight months. And that wasn't counting the hormone shots, the ovarian stimulation, egg collection and of course Elliot's little collection. They had sunk quite a large sum of money into this clinic and so far hadn't had such great results.

"What are you thinking?" Elliot asked her reaching for her hand again.

"Nothing really. I'm so tired."

"Close your eyes and rest. I'll be right here." He brushed her cheek gently with his thumb.

Olivia smiled and sunk down into her pillow as her heavy eyes closed.

Elliot leaned across the bedrail for the next two hours watching over her protectively, almost guarding her. He closed his eyes for a moment and asked God to give them a baby. He reached across the bed and slid his fingers under her palm. He felt her close her hand around his and sigh softly as she smiled in her sleep. Elliot leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Your strength," he whispered softly and he sat back down to wait.


	5. 5 Waiting

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Five: Waiting)_

When their two hours were up Elliot drove Olivia back to her apartment and helped her up the stairs and into bed. She was exhausted and a little sore after the procedure. The procedure had taken place Friday morning and Elliot spent the weekend with her insisting she stay in bed. He waited on her hand and foot and only allowed her out of bed to use the bathroom and take a ten minute shower each day. He was determine that this time it was going to work.

Sunday morning rolled around and Olivia was wide awake at the crack of dawn, but knew better than to get out of bed. She stretched and yawned as she stared at the sunlight peering through the blinds on her bedroom window. She sat up for a moment and looked around the room to find Elliot asleep in the chair in the corner. Olivia smiled. It was so adorable how he had been there beside her and then came home and taken care of her all weekend. He was such a wonderful friend and an amazing father.

She laid back in her bed and placed her hands over her abdomen as if she could feel if there were now a baby residing inside. She took a deep breath and reached to the nightstand and picked up the paperback novel she had been reading, turning directly to the dog eared page to resume her chapter. Three chapters later, she was asleep again.

Ten fifty five Sunday morning Olivia opened her eyes once more shifting them immediately to the chair where Elliot had been asleep. It was now empty. She looked over to the night stand to find her book now closed and sat neatly back in it's rightful place. She stood up and walked across the bedroom to the master bathroom, still a little sore. She quickly brushed her teeth and ran her brush through her hair, then shut the light off and climbed back into the bed.

A few minutes later Elliot entered the room carrying a tray of food with a single white rose in a vase on the corner. He sat the tray beside the bed and sat down next to her. Olivia looked at him with her big brown eyes and smiled.

"How do you feel?"

"I'm okay. Still a little sore."

"Liv, you are supposed to say pregnant!" Elliot smiled at her.

"Well, I have never been pregnant so I wouldn't know how that feels."

Elliot leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Soon, sweetheart. Soon," he replied handing her a cup of decaf coffee.

"Do you really think it will work this time?"

"Yes, I do."

"I don't feel any different than I did the other two times."

Elliot made a not so pleased face.

"Of course if I am pregnant, I would only be…" she looked across the room to the alarm clock, "just over forty eight hours along. I guess I wouldn't feel anything, would I?"

"We have to be patient, Liv. I know that is hard to do, it is hard for me, too. But we will have a baby."

"I love that you are so confident about this."

Elliot slid up to the lean against the pillow next to her handing her a plate of food.

"I just have faith. You deserve this. You are going to be such a great mother. It will happen! Don't give up."

"It's funny, because every time I think there isn't a chance and that is exactly what I want to do….you waltz in here with your smile and confidence and make me believe that it will happen. You give me the little push I need to keep trying. El, if it wasn't for you I would have give up a long time ago."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

She smiled at him and stared into his eyes, the same cool blue that had helped her get through so many tough times. "But you have gone well above and beyond the call of duty, even for a best friend."

"I want you to be happy. And it just so happens I want this baby, too. So it isn't like I am not benefiting from this in any way."

Olivia smiled at him.

"Oh, your cell rang while you were asleep. I answered it. I guess no one really knows the meaning of personal time. Anyway, Munch wanted to know if we had sent in the RSVP cards for Cassidy's wedding yet."

"I still cannot believe Brian Cassidy is getting married."

"Yeah, last I talked to him he was still hung up on you." Elliot looked at her with a mischievous grin.

"It was one night Elliot."

"Well dear, you made quite an impression on little Brian Cassidy in that one night. He bugged me for months about talking to you and trying to hook you up."

"You never told me that."

"I knew you were not interested. Besides I didn't think he was right for you."

"Oh no? Why not?"

"For one, you had absolutely no interest after that one night. I figured you were a grown woman you knew what did and didn't work for you in a relationship."

"And two?"

"And two, no man is good enough for you."

Olivia smiled at him and laughed.

Elliot leaned back in the bed and stretched his hands behind his neck. "Just think Liv, you could have been Mrs. Brian Cassidy."

Olivia shot him a glare.

"Right Elliot, that was going to happen."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. Just that if I do meet Mr. Right, I don't want him to be some guy from a bar that I took home one night after we both dot drunk."

"But you knew Cassidy from work."

"Yes, but I had no interest in him until we were both drunk and I found myself half naked with him in the backseat of a taxi cab on the way back to my apartment. We both got what we wanted from that relationship. Then he wanted more!"

"I swear Liv, sometimes you think like a guy."

"Why because I hadn't been laid in months and wanted sex? So I took home a guy from a bar? Besides, it was Cassidy. At least it wasn't some total stranger."

Elliot laughed. "He was after that night."

Olivia hit him in the stomach with her hand. "I will have you know that the future Mrs. Brian Cassidy is a very lucky woman," she said with a sly smile.

"Oh yeah? I thought you said it wasn't that good anyway?"

"I lied. It…he…we…were amazing. We had great sexual chemistry. And if he hadn't freaked me out with that little lost puppy dog routine, we could have shared a little more great sexual chemistry. It just so happens I wasn't looking for anything serious."

Elliot made his face that he often made when Olivia had shared just a little more information than he was comfortable getting from her. He didn't want to see her as this sexual being, she was Olivia. His best friend and partner and very much in many ways like a sister to him as well. The thought of her picking up a guy just for sex was not something he wanted to associate with the Olivia he knew.

"Oh come on! You can't tell me that you never slept with anyone that you had not intended on having a relationship with."

Elliot sat quiet for a minute.

"Was it that long ago that you have to think that hard?"

"No, that isn't it."

She paused for a second. "El? What is it?"

"Nothing, never mind." He stood up and gathered their breakfast dishes.

"Look I didn't mean anything by it. I was just trying to make a point."

"It's fine."

"Elliot, talk to me."

He sat back on the edge of the bed.

"No, you just reminded me of something when you said that. It has been so long, I guess I had put it behind me."

She pulled her knees to her chest.

"What?"

"It just makes me sound like a real asshole."

"Elliot, I tell you everything. I have done a lot of things that made me look bad. And you know all of them. I am not going to judge you."

He laughed slightly and she could tell by the look on his face he felt bad for what he was about to confess. "I dumped Kathy."

Olivia looked confused.

"We had dated for a few months. I wanted sex and she wasn't ready. So I dumped her. I dated this other girl for a few months. She and I had just split and I saw Kathy at a party. She came over and talked to me. She wanted to get back together and I let her believe that was what I wanted to. I had sex with her that night. Her first time. I got her pregnant with Maureen."

Olivia sat quietly not knowing exactly how to react.

"So yeah, I guess I have picked someone up just for sex. I guess my story just ended differently than yours."

"But you loved her."

"I wanted to do what was right by her. Eventually I loved her, yes. And I love every one of my kids and have from the second I found out about them."

Olivia rubbed her hand over his back. "That doesn't make you a bad person Elliot. You were young. You took responsibility. And because of that you have the other four children. I didn't mean to get so heavy with this."

"I know, it just got me thinking."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"So what are we going to do about this wedding?"

"Go, I guess. I mean he invited all of us. He and I agreed to stay friends. We have not really kept in touch, but we're not on bad terms either."

"When is it?"

"Two weeks. But it is on Martha's Vineyard and we would all have to reserve rooms and take the ferry back the next morning."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, it might be nice to get a way for a couple of days. Like drive up on Friday and get a room on the island and do a little sight seeing. Could be relaxing."

"Well, I am kind of torn. I don't want to not go and be rude, but at the same time wont it be awkward if I do go?"

"Why? It isn't like you dated or anything. I doubt he even told her."

"I'm sure he didn't or I probably wouldn't have gotten an invitation."

"Yeah, good point."

"So?"

"I think we should both go. Munch is going and I am pretty sure Fin is tagging along."

"Okay, I will call Munch back and let him know to reserve two more rooms."

"But I am not riding in the same car as Munch. That is too long of a trip, I'd murder him."

She laughed. "We can take my car. But you're driving."

"Deal."

They both smiled and laughed.

The next several days were long and passed so slowly. They both wanted so badly for the two week wait to just be over so they could either receive their good news or accept the bad news.

Olivia sat at her desk chewing on the end of her pencil as she typed up a report on her computer. Her mind was no where near where it was supposed to be. She couldn't seem to focus on any one thing lately. Especially not work.

The doctor had suggested she continue taking the hormone shots until after they had found out for sure if she was pregnant and probably through the first couple of months of her pregnancy. So for the last several months she had been extremely emotional, moody, horny as hell and had been having crazy sex dreams just about every night. What a mess! And she couldn't exactly talk to Elliot about it. That isn't the kind of thing you just say to a man, not even if he is your best friend. Especially if he is your best friend.

What made it worse was that in most of the dreams it was Elliot she was having sex with! This was probably because he was the only man in her life that she had ever really allowed herself to feel comfortable with. And now they were trying to conceive a child together. Then of course there was the fact that they had been trying to get pregnant for over eight months now and she had been taking some kind of hormones almost the entire time. She hadn't had sex in nearly ten months and really good sex in well over a year!

Olivia closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her hand. She had better get used to this, she thought. If she did get pregnant she would be dealing with these hormones for at least another nine months. This would all be well worth it once she knew for sure that she had a baby inside her.

She looked across the desk to see Elliot working hard on his paperwork. His big strong forearms exposed by his rolled up sleeves. His broad muscular shoulders barely visible through his white button up dress shirt. His gorgeous smile and of course those sexy as hell blue eyes that made her melt inside. Olivia could feel her heart pounding so hard in her chest she was sure he could hear it. In this moment she wanted nothing more than to reach across the desk and pull him to her body by his neck tie. Then shove everything off the desk into the floor and allow him to taker her right here on the desk.

He would slowly unbutton her blouse and drop her black slacks to the floor. Grab her by the ass and raise her to the desk before removing her underclothes and trailing her entire body with his warm tongue. His kisses passionate. His thick strong arms holding tight to her as he sent waves of pleasure pulsing through her entire body time and time again. His blue eyes burning into her soul as she trembled at his mercy, moaning and screaming her way through yet another Earth shaking orgasm.

Olivia groaned as she heard Fin's voice behind her.

"Yeah?" She almost snapped bitter that he had brought her back from her little fantasy.

She looked up from her computer screen to see Fin and Elliot both staring at her with strange looks of confusion across their faces.

"You okay, Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Umm, yeah. Just tired I guess. I must have zoned out."

"You were groaning," Fin added. "I didn't now if something was wrong."

"Oh, I'm fine. Headache." She looked at them hoping they would buy it. Fin shrugged his shoulders and went on about his business.

Elliot however stared her down raising an eyebrow.

"What?" She snapped.

"Nothing. Just didn't sound like a headache to me."

Olivia rolled her eyes and looked at her watch. "I have to do my shot in ten minutes. I'm going to run to the ladies room then I will meet you in the locker room?"

"Okay."

She disappeared into the bathroom and stood staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had to find a way to get control over herself and her raging hormones. She splashed cool water on her face and dabbed it dry with a paper towel. This would have to do for now even though what she really needed was a cold shower and a trip to confession. Of course she wasn't a Catholic so that probably wouldn't save her either. She took a deep breath and looked down at her watch.

"It's that time again," she mumbled to herself as she walked out of the bathroom and headed down the hall to the locker room where Elliot was waiting for her.

"You ready for this?" He asked .

"Oh yeah, this is my favorite part of the day," she said with sarcastic enthusiasm.

She unzipped her slacks and stared blankly ahead as he drew up the liquid from the vile in his hand. Elliot moved his hand slowly over her hip brushing the soft material of her black boy short underwear down enough to expose the area.

Olivia whimpered a little and flinched as he stared at a small deep purple bruise. She looked down at it then back at him. "It's okay, go ahead."

"How long have you had this?"

"Not long, it's just from the injections."

"Maybe we should change sides and give this one a rest for a few days."

She nodded her head and moved her hand to the other hip. Elliot smoothed the injection site over with an alcohol pad to sterilize it.

"Okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, just do it." She turned her eyes to focus on a locker behind him. She couldn't bring herself to watch.

"There."

"Thanks," she said rubbing her hip as she zipped her slacks again.

She walked over and sat on the bench in front of the lockers exhaling deeply.

"Liv, what's going on with you?" Elliot asked sitting beside her.

"I'm just getting impatient. I am trying so hard not to, but it has been over eight months."

Elliot looked into her tired eyes.

"I know. But we have put too much into this to give it up now."

"I didn't realize how much work this was going to be. And these shots," she groaned. "They have my hormones so screwed up it is unreal. I'm probably going to over dose on estrogen before I get pregnant! I am in a constant state of PMS. I have weird food cravings and strange sex dreams, not to mention the morning sickness. And I am probably not even pregnant yet!"

"Sex dreams?" Elliot watched her turn six shades of red as she realized she had let that little detail slip during her rant.

"I can't help it. I have no control over my body or my mind anymore! This is so humiliating!"

"Don't be embarrassed," he said.

Elliot chuckled a little and patted her shoulder.

"I'm sorry this is so rough on you."

"I know it will all be worth it the second I see that little pink plus sign on that pregnancy test."

"Yeah, then we have to wait nine more months to actually receive our little gift," Elliot said with a smile as he placed his hand over her flat stomach.

"You need something to take your mind off of this for a few days. A distraction for at least eleven more days."

She laughed. "Yeah, only I cannot focus on anything at all for more than a few minutes at a time.

"Maybe we should both just kind of pour ourselves into our work. We can help keep each other focused."

"You think that will work?"

"You know how it is when we land a big case. There is no time for anything else. Including worrying about details of your personal life."

"True."

"And we score bonus points with Cragen for working so hard. If we get wrapped up in a case, these next eleven days will sail by."

"Okay," she said with a smile. At least it was a plan. That was more than she had.


	6. 6 Martha's Vineyard

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Six: Martha's Vineyard)_

Olivia opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling of the hotel room. She knew what she was doing last night and she knew how she would feel about it in the morning, but she just didn't care anymore. They had both wanted it to happen for so long, it was bound to eventually.

She slid slowly out from under his arm and picked her shoes up off the floor. She looked back at him lying there in the bed and tears began to fill her eyes. What had they done? It was never supposed to be this way. Not them. She took a deep breath and turned to open the door.

As she did she heard his voice behind her as he whispered one word…. "stay."

Olivia didn't turn around, she couldn't look back. She didn't want him to see her crying. Or to know that the second she opened her eyes she had regretted it. Panic had set in and she was going to do the only thing she knew to do, run. She took a deep breath and walked out the door.

She went down to the front desk and got the key to her room. It would be right next to his. She returned to it, dropping the simple black dress the moment she stepped through the door and climbed into the shower.

She stood under the hot water with tears pouring down her face as she closed her eyes and thought back at the events that had brought them together, there in that room last night. Everything that lead up to what they did.

Elliot had come to her apartment Friday morning. Her two weeks since the last in vitro cycle had past and today was the day she took her pregnancy test. He laid with her across her bed as they waited for the results that for better or worse would change the rest of their lives.

"This is it, I know it is." He said with a smile, his blue eyes shining.

"You say that every time." She laughed.

"Well, one of these times I will be right."

Olivia laughed.

"You have the prettiest smile," Elliot said looking into her eyes as he brushed a small piece of bangs from them. "I hope our baby has that smile."

She sat up and looked down on him, "I just hope we have a baby."

"We will."

She took a deep breath, "well, here goes nothing." She stood up from the bed and walked into her bathroom picking the test strip up from the counter and returning to the bedroom to read it. She sat down on the bed and Elliot wrapped his arm around her. She stared into his eyes for a second, then opened her hand to reveal the test strip.

They stared at each other for a moment then both shifted their eyes downward as she moved her thumb to reveal the "Not Pregnant" in the little window. Elliot rubbed her back as tears began to fall from her eyes. She laid the test strip down on her night stand and laid back down on the bed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly as he placed his arm over her waist. "I thought for sure…"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter."

She turned her eyes to look into his and took a deep breath.

"We should stop by on the way out of town and make another appointment."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we can't give up now."

She rubbed her eyes as he pulled her against him and held her for a minute.

"We should go if we want to beat traffic," she said softly.

"Okay." Elliot kissed the top of her head and brushed her cheek with his hand.

Olivia sat up and slipped her shoes on. She tossed the test strip into the trash then grabbed her duffel bag and dress for the wedding and they left the apartment.

They stopped at the clinic before leaving town and spoke to the doctor for a moment. He all but said there was not much else they could do except continue the hormone shots and try again. This time he wanted to wait ninety days and give her time to rest after the last procedure. They had been doing this for over eight months already and now the doctor was telling her she had to wait three months before he would try again.

In the car she sat quietly for hours just staring out the window. She hardly even blinked.

"You okay?" Elliot asked reaching for her hand.

"Yeah," she said turning to face him and forcing a smile. But Elliot knew all of her smiles and this one was scared.

"I was thinking we could stop in the next town and get something to eat."

"I'm not really hungry."

"Honey, you have not eaten all day."

"I'm okay, El. But if you are hungry, stop."

It broke his heart to see her in pain.

He stopped for gas an hour later and got her some magazines, a sudoku puzzle book, a new crime novel, some Twizzlers and a diet soda while he was inside. He climbed back into the car and handed her the bag.

"What is this?" She asked looking at him.

"I got you a few things to help pass the time. You looked bored."

She laughed and smiled at him when she opened the bag, he had bought her all of her favorite things.

"There it is."

"What?" She asked looking out the window to see what she had missed.

"Your pretty smile. You have a great smile Liv, you should smile all of the time."

"Thank you El," she said smiling at him again. That one was her happy smile.

Elliot slipped his hand into hers and she leaned her head against his shoulder for a second.

"I really am sorry," he said softly.

"So am I. I know you were disappointed, too."

"I hate this," he said staring at the road ahead of them.

"What?"

"Watching you go through this. I would have never thought I would have had any trouble getting anybody pregnant."

He looked at Liv as she turned her attention out the window again.

"I know. If you and Kathy just slept in the same room she got pregnant. I guess some things just are not meant to be."

"That isn't true! Don't say that. We are not giving up! And in three months we are going to go in there and do it again and this time it will work."

She took a deep breath and tears poured a slow stream down her face. "I don't know," she mumbled softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Elliot, I'm not sure I can go through this again."

"Liv, lets just relax this weekend and not think about it. Any of it. Like a vacation. Rest up physically and emotionally for the next few days and try not to think about this. Okay?"

She nodded her head and took another deep breath pulling the novel from the goody bag he bought her.

They arrived that evening and explored the island after checking in to their hotel. It was a beautiful, sleepy little community and this wedding was the talk of the town. That evening they had a nice dinner in a cozy little Italian restaurant a few blocks from the hotel. They sat together and had pleasant conversation about anything that had nothing to do with pregnancy and babies. Olivia ordered her first glass of wine in months.

After dinner they walked through the warm summer air back to the hotel and turned in for the evening. Munch and Fin arrived the next morning and the four of them met up with Brian for brunch before the wedding at a local country club.

"Hey, there he is." John Munch patted his former partner on the back. "Congratulations buddy!"

"Thanks," he said shaking hands with the guys. "Elliot, Fin nice to see you guys." He stopped to look at Olivia with her tan skin and bright smile wearing a black and white floral print sun dress. She looked so elegant and beautiful. "Be still my heart," he mocked placing his hand on his chest. "Come here gorgeous," he said reaching to hug her.

"Hi Bri," she said softly.

"Man I am so glad you guys are here."

"Cragen wanted to be here, but he got stuck working. He sent a gift though. Sounds like stemware," Munch said with a smile.

"Shall we?" Brian lead them all up to the club house restaurant. Where they sat out on the deck overlooking a golf course to eat.

"This view is stunning," Olivia noted looking out past the golf course to the waves against the shore.

"This is actually where we are having the dinner and reception tonight."

Olivia sat quietly and stared at the view sipping iced tea while the guys shared stories and caught up on old times.

"You guys up for a few holes of golf?" Brian asked looking down as his watch.

All of the guys agreed.

"How about you, Liv?"

"Oh, no thank you. I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel and maybe take a nap."

"Oh, come on." Brian held up a set of keys, "I'll let you drive the golf cart."

Olivia laughed. "I don't even know how to play."

"It's alright. It's just for fun. Very therapeutic. We'll teach you."

"I don't know."

"Liv, come on. Have a little fun," Elliot said smiling at her.

"El, I'm not even dressed for golf."

Elliot made a sad face and Olivia laughed.

"Come on," he said memorizing her smile as the wind blew through her hair.

"Okay."

Olivia trailed along and didn't pay much attention to anything but the scenery the entire time.

Afterward they all sat inside the clubhouse drinking iced tea as a tall leggy blonde walked into the room. Olivia watched as all of the guys at their table turned to check her out.

This must be the bride, Olivia thought as the woman walked up and hugged Brian.

"So Brian, who are your friends?" She asked looking around the table at each of the men then landing her eyes on Olivia.

"These are some of my friends from back in New York. We worked together when I worked Special Victims. Detectives John Munch, Odafin Tutuola, Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson. Guys this is Alison, my sister."

"Nice to meet you," she said with a cheesy smile staring at Elliot.

Olivia watched his as he loosened his tie. He was actually into this girl. He sat up at attention the second he found out she wasn't the future Mrs. Brian Cassidy. And now he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Julie, my fiancé is off probably getting her hair and nails done about now. I'll have to introduce you guys to her tonight. She's great. You guys will love her."

Olivia smiled only for a second then shifted her attention back to Elliot and the blonde with the big boobs at the end of the table. God he was almost drooling. Of course he hadn't been laid in quite some time. He and Kathy had been divorced for a while and he had spent the better part of the last nine months trying to help Olivia get pregnant, so he hadn't had time to date anyone.

Olivia placed her hand against her cheek and watched the two of them talking. What exactly did he see in her anyway? She wasn't even that pretty. So she had boobs, big deal. So did half the world population. Did he have to act so desperate? Olivia wondered. She hadn't had sex in a long time either, but that didn't mean she tried to jump anything that walked past her with a penis.

Of course if they weren't here for Brian's wedding she might actually be interested in another steamy night of hot sex. God he was good in bed. But that was beside the point!

What the hell was Elliot thinking? He probably wasn't. It had been Olivia's experience that the reaction of a man's penis to a woman usually cut off all oxygen to his brain. That must have been what was going on here, because Elliot sat across from her with the stupidest look she had ever seen cross his face. And Goldilocks was using all three of her brain cells in a poor attempt to form intelligent conversation with him.

Olivia watched them and was trying to figure out exactly how this bimbo could have possibly have the same genetics as Brian. Maybe it was a bad reaction to her hair dye. She took a deep breath and looked down at her watch.

"Well gentlemen and Alison, I should be getting back to the hotel. Brian it was really nice seeing you again. Alison, it was nice to meet you," Olivia extended her hand to shake Alison's but she didn't react. After a few seconds she retracted her hand and walked back toward the parking lot toward her car.

Elliot stood up and followed behind her.

"Liv?"

"Yeah," she said turning around and stopping in the parking lot to talk to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just kind of tired. I think it is all of the fresh air. I'm gonna head back and take a nap. I will catch up with you guys later."

"Okay. Well, I'll just catch a ride back with Fin & Munch then."

"Yeah," she said softly as he turned and walked back inside. She took a deep breath and felt a little bad for hoping nothing would happen between he and Brian's sister. She wanted Elliot to be happy, just not with that girl. He deserved someone so much better than that. Oh my gosh, not only was she hormonal, but she was jealous. Jealous that he was showing an interest in the Barbie with the long legs and the six thousand dollar nose job.

What the hell is wrong with me? Olivia wondered as she started the car and headed back to the hotel. Elliot is a good man who sees good things in people, if he is interested she must have something good about her. And what if she was judging this girl too quickly? What if they did get together and were really happy? Or what if they got together and he changed his mind about having a baby with Olivia? She swallowed hard in her throat. She hadn't thought of that.

She walked into her room and tossed her car keys on the nightstand as she kicked off her sandals and fell across the bed. Why couldn't she have just been the fiancé and then Elliot would have never even noticed her? Olivia exhaled and closed her eyes, all of this thinking was giving her a headache.

A couple of hours later she was awakened by a knock at the door. Olivia groaned and squinted her eyes to focus on her watch. It was almost four o'clock and the wedding was at six. She stretched and sat up in the bed as she heard the knocking again.

"I'm coming!" She said placing a hand to her forehead as she made her way to the door. "Yeah?"

It was Elliot.

"Sorry, I guess I fell asleep." She batted her big brown eyes to look at his.

Elliot smiled. "It's okay. I just tried to call earlier and you didn't answer, so I wanted to make sure you were awake so you had enough time to get ready."

"Yeah, thanks. I set the alarm on my phone, I guess I slept through it. It wont take me long. Just plug in the curling iron and put on some make up."

"Just knock on my door when you're ready. Oh, can I get your keys, my shoes are in the trunk of the car."

"Yeah," she turned and grabbed them off the night stand and handed them to him.

"Alright, I will see you in a little while."

She exhaled and stretched again. At least her headache was gone.

Olivia hurried around the room scattering her "girl things" as Elliot liked to call them all over the room. Lipstick, earrings, stockings and four pairs of high heels scattered across the dresser and the entire contents of her purse dumped out on the bed.

She pulled her hair up and twisted it and clipped it in place, leaving just a few little strands down around her face and the back of her neck. She pressed her lips together firmly, then blotted her lipstick with a tissue and applied a thin layer of clear lip gloss over the top. She pulled off her tee shirt and put on a sexy strapless black lace bra and matching panties then slipped on the little black dress she had chosen for the occasion. You could never go wrong with a classic black. Simple, sexy and elegant, Olivia thought to her self as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. This was one of about ten little black dresses in her closet.

"Perfect," she said as she misted the air with a sultry musk and stepped into it. Now she was ready. She grabbed the little black hand bag she had brought to go with the dress and tossed in a few of the essentials from the purse contents on the bed. Lipstick, lip gloss, compact, her ID, gum and her travel tooth brush, just in case the reception dinner included something that left her with less than desirable breath. She tucked the bag under her arm and adjusted the spaghetti strap on her dress then was out the door.

Elliot was tying his tie when he opened the door and was so stunned by the beautiful woman standing in front of him that his clumsy fingers knotted it all up.

"Let me see," Olivia laughed as she slipped the navy tie through her fingertips retying the knot perfectly. He looked so handsome in his black suit and shiny black shoes. His smile was bright and his eyes shined like stars. Olivia felt a little weak in the knees just standing next to him. "You sure clean up nice."

"Thank you," he said with s big smile. "And you, I probably should have brought my gun."

"Why?"

"Well, to chase off all of the guys who'll be fighting over you."

She laughed. It was lame, but so cute that he even tried.

"Just be sure to save me a dance," he said smiling at her again.

"Sure."

"Shall we?" Elliot raised his arm and she slid hers inside it holding to the sleeve of his jacket.

"Are we going to wait on Munch and Fin?"

"They are going to meet us there."

"Okay," she said with a smile and they headed for the car.


	7. 7 Too Far Gone

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Seven: Too Far Gone)_

Olivia stood on the deck looking up at the night sky as the clouds brushed over the billion twinkling stars and full moon. The wedding was beautiful and Brian's new bride was really sweet and very pretty. Olivia was happy that he had finally found someone to love him the way she couldn't.

She turned and gazed through the big double doors facing the dance floor and stared at all of the couples. Part of her longed to find that closeness with someone, but every time she had ever trusted a man long enough to get into a relationship with him she had been let down. Every man that is, except for Elliot. He was the only one she had ever fully trusted, not just the only man, but only person period. And when times got tough, she knew with out a doubt that he always had her back. It was nice to have someone like that in her life.

She watched as Elliot danced with Alison. Smiling and laughing and for the first time in a long time she actually kind of felt the threat of losing him. They had walked in together. Not a couple. But the smile on his face let her know he was proud to be her escort for the evening. But twenty minutes later when he spotted Alison and went over to her table "to say hello" something inside Olivia knew he wouldn't be back. She was right. That was almost two hours earlier and he hadn't even noticed her since.

For the last half hour she had been standing outside, alone, sipping on a glass of Champaign and no one had even noticed her missing. Not that this was the point. She had actually come out here to escape the noise and get some fresh air. But it would have been nice if at least one of the three friends she had come here with would have realized her absence and at least checked on her.

She took a deep breath as a waiter stepped out to offer her another glass of Champaign. Olivia placed the empty glass on the tray and picked up another one.

"Thank you," she said politely smiling at the waiter.

"You're welcome ma'am. If there is anything else I can get you, just let me know."

Olivia nodded her head at the young man as he returned inside to the party. She took another sip from her glass and sat it on the wooden railing as she looked back up into the sky.

"Hey," she heard Elliot's voice behind her.

"Hi," she replied with a smile turning to face him.

"So how long have you been hiding out here?"

"I'm not hiding, I'm…..star gazing."

"Sure you are."

She smiled at him. "How's it going with Alison?"

"It's alright. I have no clue how to even talk to a woman. I have not dated in over twenty years."

"You talk to me all of the time."

"That's different. I have known you forever. We're like family. You know everything about me. I don't have to try to impress you."

Olivia laughed. "Well, thanks. I think. Do you think it could turn into something serious?"

"I don't know. Kind of early to tell. I just met her this morning. Besides, she lives in California."

"Wow."

"Yeah. She went to school there and teaches junior high."

"Oh." Olivia said. But the first though that crossed her mind was I'll bet those hormonal teenage boys love her.

"So give it up."

"What?"

"The real reason you have spent half the night out here on the balcony alone. What's bothering you, Liv?"

"Nothing, I just came out to get some fresh air. It is really peaceful here. Nothing like the city."

Elliot took her hand in his and Olivia stared down at their palms now touching. "Now I know something is bothering you. You just changed the subject."

"Really Elliot, I'm fine." She smiled as he stared at her with his eyes. In this light they were almost the same color as the night sky.

Elliot put his arm around her waist and stepped in behind her. "It's okay, Liv. Were just going to have to keep trying until it works," he whispered in her ear as he placed a kiss against the back of her neck.

"I don't know. You heard that doctor. He practically said there was nothing else he could do. What if I just can't have a baby?"

"Don't do this to yourself. We have an appointment in three months. They will run all of the tests again and we'll do another cycle. It is bound to happen sometime."

She took a deep breath and turned to look at him over her shoulder. "Yeah," she said softly as her tears began to rise. She took a deep breath and stared into his eyes. For a moment she could think of nothing else except how wonderful it would be if he kissed her right now. The moment was perfect for a first kiss. Under the soft light of a full moon and a sky full of stars. The smell of jasmine on the breeze and the gentle sound of the waves against the shore. She blinked her eyes and when she opened them again he had broke their stare.

What was she thinking? This was Elliot. And it was completely inappropriate for her to be having these kinds of thoughts about Elliot. These hormone shots were about to drive her crazy!

Olivia took another sip from her glass.

"There you are," she heard Alison's voice echo behind them.

"Hi," Elliot said turning to look at her.

"I wasn't done dancing with you," she said with a stupid grin.

"I'll tell you what. I am going to find the men's room and then I will meet you back out there."

"Okay!" She almost squealed.

Olivia gritted her teeth. She couldn't help it, she could not stand Alison! Couldn't Elliot at least find a woman with tits and a brain?

Olivia ignored her for a few minutes while Alison tried to make conversation.

"Elliot tells me you guys are good friends."

"Yeah."

"And you have known each other for a long time?"

"Yup."

This was torture!

"Brian has told me a lot about Elliot."

"He has, huh?" Note to self… KILL BRIAN CASSIDY!

"Yeah. Like he told me he is divorced. And he has kids. I never really dated a guy with kids, but I guess that's okay."

Olivia smiled. "Five."

"Huh?"

"Elliot had five children with his ex-wife Kathy."

"Oh." Alison said with a shocked look on her face.

"He is very close to them and keeps them as often as he can."

"I see."

What the hell was she doing? She was going to blow it for him!

"Well, I guess we could work that out."

"He's seeing someone!" Olivia heard herself blurt out before she even realized she had done it.

"He…he. What?"

Olivia stared at her with a blank look, still in shock from her last comment.

"I'd better… umm…" Alison pointed behind her then turned and walked away.

Olivia felt her stomach churn. What the hell was she thinking? How could she do this to him? She gasped for a moment and looked up trying to find Alison. But it was too late. There she stood in the middle of the dance floor yelling at Elliot. Olivia watched in awe as she stormed out the front door.

She watched him as a look of disappointment crossed his face and he slowly made his way back out to where she stood. Olivia turned around, she couldn't face him now. Not after what she had done. She couldn't see that hurt in his eyes. Or the anger and disappointment for her. She closed her eyes and held her breath as she waited for the worst.

"Well, I guess that isn't going to be working out."

"What?" she said softly pretending not to know what he was talking about.

"Somehow Alison got the impression I was in a serious relationship. I thought Brian already told her I was divorced. I tried to explain, but got upset and ran out."

"I did it!" Damn it! When was she going to learn to think before she spoke?

"Did what?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "I told her that you were seeing someone."

Elliot scowled at her. "Why on Earth would you do that?"

"I don't know. She was just rambling on and on about the most ridiculous things. And it just sort of came out."

"So you lied to her!"

"You weren't exactly completely honest with her either!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you didn't tell her you even had children, let alone five! You left it up to Brian!"

"Olivia, I just met the girl today!"

"And it slipped your mind that you have children?"

"This was none of your business!"

"I know! It doesn't feel so great does it?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you have managed to run off every single guy I have ever dated since we met!"

"Those guys were losers, Liv! They weren't right for you!"

"Oh and because some air head has big tits and a vagina she is right for you?"

"That isn't why I was interested in her and you know it!"

"Well it couldn't have been for her brains!"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"That means that she was a fucking moron, Elliot! I'd be surprised if she could walk and talk at the same time! And those big wonderful boobs you like so much… Fake! It is discussing really!"

"How is that?"

"She was almost half your age!"

Elliot stopped and just stared into Olivia's eyes for a moment. She could tell he was biting his lip not to say the next comment on his mind.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

He turned around.

"No! You want to talk? Let's hear it! I am just dying to know what is on you mind!"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah!"

"Here it is! You are jealous!"

"Oh! I am so not… and I repeat NOT jealous of that blonde headed bimbo!"

"No, Olivia! You are jealous of me! Because I have the one thing you can't! You can't seem to get pregnant! And that jealousy is eating you up inside! So you're lashing out on me!"

He may as well have punched her in the stomach. Olivia's eyes instantly filled with tears and she could feel them streaming down her face. She took a staggered breath and just stared at Elliot. Then slapped him across the face hard and ran out of the building.

Elliot felt like a complete asshole the second he said it. He didn't mean it, he was just so angry with her at the moment and got carried away. She had hurt him and he wanted to hurt her. But he never meant to hurt her like this.

"Olivia, wait!" He ran through the room and out the front exit as it began to rain. But Liv was already far enough down the road he could barely see her.

Elliot went back to the desk and asked for his jacket and her purse. By now it was pouring rain and a storm was rolling in. He had her car keys because he had driven them there that night. So she headed back toward town nearly twelve miles away in the dark and rain just to escape him.

Elliot ran to her car and went after her. She was pissed and power walking and making pretty good time when he found her just over a mile up the road. Olivia knew it was Elliot and she stuck her thumb out as if she had been hitch hiking the entire time just to piss him off. He pulled the car over at an angle in front of her and pushed open the passengers side door.

"Get in the car, Olivia." He called to her over the sound of the heavy rain.

"Go to Hell!"

She kept walking. She was completely drenched now and her hair was starting to fall down around her eyes. She knew she must look awful, but she didn't care.

"Liv, please! Just get into the car, I will take you where ever you want to go."

She ignored him and walked faster. Her feet kept sliding in her strappy wet heels so she pulled off her shoes and carried them. She had goose bumps from the cold and rain pounding her in the face. Thank God for water proof mascara.

"Olivia! Damn it! This is juvenile and dangerous! It is pitch black out here and pouring rain and you are wearing a black dress! You could get hit! Please just get in the car! You want to go back to the hotel? I will take you back! Get in! I won't say a word! I swear!"

She stopped and turned to look at him with hurt and anger in her eyes. "It is my fucking car!"

Elliot slammed the car into park and got out leaving both doors open. He walked around to face her. "Well, at least you are talking to me!" He put his hands on her arms and tried to guide her to the passengers seat. "Just get in!"

She jerked away from him. "Don't fucking touch me!"

"Then here!" He said dangling the keys in front of her. "You take the car back and I will walk!"

Olivia jerked the keys from his hand and got into the drivers seat of the car driving off so fast the passengers side door slammed shut. She got a few yards up the road and started to cry. She stopped the car in the middle of the highway for a minute to gather herself, then slammed the car into reverse and backed up so fast she almost hit Elliot walking down the road. She pulled over and opened the door, but did not say a word.

Elliot climbed into the car and just stared at her for a second. "Thank…"

She pressed her hand against his mouth to shut him up and kept driving.

When they got out in the hotel parking lot Elliot tried again to talk to her.

"Olivia," he said grabbing her hand and forcing her to look at him. This time her eyes were full of tears. "Talk to me."

"I can't," she said softly and walked away from him crying.

"Liv, please. We both said some things we didn't mean. Look I was hurt and mad and I just wanted to piss you off. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I didn't mean it."

Olivia turned to walk off again and Elliot placed his arms on hers turning her to face him. He stared at her for a moment as the raid poured down around both of them.

"You were right," she said and Elliot could clearly see her tears through the rain. "I envy what you have. I am not jealous of you, Elliot. I look up to you. And I was jealous of her. Not really her, but you with someone, anyone. It scared me to see you getting close to someone."

"Why would that scare you?"

She kept walking up the staircase to their floor.

"Olivia," he held her hand in his and stopped her half way up the staircase then turned her to look into her eyes.

She took a shallow breath as more tears fell. "I was afraid….that if you got together with her…..you wouldn't want to have a baby with me anymore."

Elliot placed his hands on each side of her face and stared into her eyes. "That is crazy! There is nothing in the world that I want more than to have a baby with you!"

He stood there for a minute just looking into her eyes, staring into her soul. They both began to breathe a little heavier and his heart was pounding. Without even thinking he leaned in and kissed her passionately.

Olivia wanted to fight it, she knew it was wrong. But she couldn't, it felt so right. Elliot wrapped one arm around her and pulled her body to his as he continued kissing her. She raised her hands to hold his face as if she thought he would fly away if she didn't hold on tight to him. For several minutes they kissed. Eyes pressed shut tightly, noses brushing softly and him moving his hand slowly over her back.

When their lips finally parted, Elliot pulled her against his chest and held her there for a minute. He gently kissed the top of her head as she buried her cheek into his wet shirt.

"I am so sorry, Liv. I didn't mean a word of it."

She looked up at him and batted her big brown eyes in the rain.

"Neither did I."

Elliot held tight to her for another minute, knowing it could go no further. They had crossed a line already.

"This can't happen, El."

"I know," he whispered allowing her hand to slip out of his.

Olivia placed her hand against his chest and could feel his heart pounding. Elliot could see the longing in her eyes. The both wanted something they could not have.

She turned from him and walked slowly back up the stairs to their floor. Elliot reached his door first and stepped inside. He shut the door and leaned against the inside of it to think about what had just happened. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. He opened it to see the only one person he had really wanted to be on the other side.

"I don't have my key. I need to use your phone to call the front desk."

Elliot stared at her. She was completely soaked from head to toe and still carried her heels in her hand. Her hair was wet and starting to fall down around her face. She looked incredible.

"El?"

"Yeah," he said stepping back to let her in.

He closed the door behind her and thumped his head against it, trying to make every dirty thought inside disappear. This was Olivia. It couldn't be like this with her.

She stopped a few steps in front of him and looked into his eyes. "Elliot…"

The soft way she said his name drove him crazy and before he knew it his lips were locked to hers once more. Elliot backed her up as he moved his hands slowly over her body kissing her and tasting her Champaign sweet kisses. She moaned ever so lightly and he felt every hair on his body stand on end. He pulled away from her to look at her for a brief second before she pulled him back to her.

Elliot backed her up to sit on the bed, both of them still wet from the rain. He moved his mouth to the side of her neck. And placed his lip against a spot just behind her ear he had longed to kiss for years. She scooted back against the bed as he moved in beside her and continued kissing her. It wasn't how either of them had planned to spend their night. But it was happening and neither of them wanted it to stop.

Olivia laid back on the bed as Elliot hovered above her placing a trail of baby kisses across her collarbone. She moved her hands up to unbutton his now transparent white shirt and explore his chest with her fingertips. She slid his shirt off and dropped it to the floor as she moved one hand over his chest and the other over his strong back.

They kissed slowly and passionately. It seemed like everything was in slow motion. Elliot smoothed his hands over her toned biceps and rounded her shoulders as he slid down the thin straps of the dress, but didn't pull down its top. He moved his hands around her waist and pushed them slowly up her back and across her neck forcing another soft moan from her before he took the clip from her hair and allowed it to fall around her face.

He leaned in and placed a hand on each side of her face kissing her again. Slowly, passionately and hungrily their mouths moved together as their hands slid slowly over places they had never seen. Olivia caught her breath in her throat when she felt her fingers slip down and unbuckle his belt sliding it from his pants. Before she knew it his black suit pants were unbuttoned as well.

Elliot kissed across her chest as he moved his hands over her waist. He leaned up and stared deep into her eyes. He slipped one hand under the skirt of her little black dress and smoothed it over her navel watching her eyes as they lit up to his touch. Olivia lowered her hand to touch his strong shoulder as she felt his fingers slip under the leg band of her black lace underwear. They paused there for a second as if asking for her permission. She raised her hips slowly off the bed as he slid them down and dropped them into the floor, his eyes never leaving hers.

Olivia pulled his mouth to hers again and Elliot combed his fingers through the soft locks of her dark hair as he stared into her eyes. Her lip quivered for a second in anticipation as she smoothed her fingers over his chest once more. Elliot kissed up her chest and cheek until she could feel the warmth of his breath against her ear. She closed her eyes to feel him surrounding her.

"Are you sure?" He whispered softly as he kissed her cheek then brought his eyes back to meet hers.

Olivia traced her index finger over his lips slowly. She turned her eyes to meet his and smiled as she nodded her head slowly. She leaned up to kiss Elliot again as he pushed her knee aside to position himself over her. He kissed her intimately as he moved slowly forward to enter her body.

She gasped for a moment and closed her eyes.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. "God, I'm hurting you."

"No," she gasped. She opened her eyes to look into his. "It has just been a really long time."

"Yeah?" He whispered as she nodded her head. "Me, too."

The way he stared into her eyes made her feel like she would melt.

"No, I mean. It has been over a year since I ….." she panted.

"I'll go slow," he said caressing her cheek with his thumb.

Olivia pressed her lips together and pressed her forehead to his as he began moving slowly inside of her. His first few movements sent equal amounts of pain and pleasure through her body as she gasped and moaned quietly.

"If you want me to stop, just tell me and I will stop."

"I don't want you to stop," she whispered against his lips.

Before too long he was moving a little faster and they were both breathing heavily.

She moaned and tipped her head back against the pillow he was a fast learner. In less than ten minutes he already knew more about her body than any other lover she had ever had. He knew exactly where to touch her inside and hit the right spot with every thrust pushing her so close. She moaned quietly and gasped and panted trying to hold out for him. She stared deep into his eyes not wanting to even blink as he sped up his movements just a little.

She bit and kissed gently against his shoulder as she moaned and cooed short sentences like "oh God" and "yes, yes, right there."

Elliot pressed his forehead to hers and gently but passionately kissed her lips. Olivia pulled her thighs tighter against his body as she held tight to his back. She looked at him almost as if she were afraid he would leave her. Elliot moved his hand up her throat and kissed it tenderly making his way back around to her lips.

Olivia could feel his hand against her thigh over her stockings as he caressed it with his palm and fingertips. He sped up a little more and his lips pressed gently against hers between their gasps for air. Elliot opened his ocean blue eyes and stared deep into her soul as they finished together. He kissed her again as he fell spent against her warm body. The panted together for a moment then he raised up to kissed her again as they both laughed a little. Elliot looked across the bed at her as he slid his hand into hers and locked their fingers together. He moved their arms over her waist and pulled her in against his body to hold her.

Olivia trembled lightly against him.

"You okay?" He whispered kissing her ear.

"Yeah," she said softly fighting back tears. She had never felt so much emotion surging through her body at once. She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry and all she could do was try to remind herself to breathe."

"Cold?"

"A little," she answered turning to look at him.

"I'll keep you warm," he whispered softly as he held her body tight to his and pulled the blankets up around them.

Elliot kissed her shoulder and stared down at her. "I love you Liv," he whispered. "I know I'm not supposed to, but I can't help it. I don't remember a time when I didn't. I'm too far gone to try to turn back now."

She was quiet and Elliot moved his thumb gently across her forehead as he tilted her chin up slowly to look into her eyes. She had fallen asleep in his arms.

Elliot laid back in the bed and held her tight against him for hours just watching her sleep. Tomorrow would be hell, but for tonight everything was perfect. For tonight, she was his.


	8. 8 A Change Of Heart

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Eight: A Change Of Heart)_

Olivia climbed from the shower and quickly got dressed pulling on a pair of blue jeans, a red tank top and a pair of flip flops. She grabbed all of her things and she jammed them all, including the black dress into the duffel bag. She took one last look around the room. It was nearly seven o'clock now and the morning ferry left at eight, if she hurried she could catch it.

She stepped out onto damp concrete of the balcony that overlooked the parking lot in front of her room and walked quickly toward Elliot's room. She barely tapped once on the door before he pulled it open with a smile. Olivia shifted her eyes down trying not to look him in the eye.

"I'm going to go ahead and head back. I have a lot of things I need to get done before I go back to work tomorrow."

"Just like that, you're gonna take off?"

"Elliot…." she picked at the door frame with her fingernail as she shook her head, still refusing to look at him.

"Olivia, don't do this."

He watched her as she started to cry.

She moved her hand up the side of her cheek to her temple and took a deep breath.

"What about breakfast with the guys. We were all supposed to meet up and .…" Elliot sighed, it was no use. She had already made up her mind.

"I need to go, Elliot. I need to go now. If you are riding with me, I can wait a few minutes. But the ferry leaves at eight and I need to be on it."

"Liv, look at me." She couldn't. "Come in here and sit down and talk to me."

"I can't. I need some time to think," she sobbed. "Not now. I just want to go home." She looked up at him only for a second and he could see the fear in her eyes.

Elliot took a staggered breath. He turned around and picked up her car keys from the desk and dropped them into her hand. "You need some time to think," he repeated softly almost in tears himself. "I'll catch a ride back with the guys."

She nodded silently as she lowered her sunglasses from the top of her head over her eyes. Elliot watched as she stood there trying to think of something to say and tears fell from under her dark glasses.

"I'll see you back in New York," he said trying to keep his voice from cracking.

"Yeah," she whispered. She stood there for another second, then turned and walked down the stairs. Elliot watched from the door of his hotel room as she got into her car and drove away. He took a deep breath as he sat down on the edge of the bed and cried.

Elliot returned to his apartment around six o'clock that evening. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Thoughts of a hot shower and scotch on the rocks crossed his mind as he closed the apartment door behind him and dragged his bag up the stairs. All that changed when he found her standing at his kitchen counter.

"Liv?" He stared at her, hoping that she had come to her senses and realized there was nothing to be afraid of.

"I was just leaving you a note," she said dropping a pen and paper. Then brushing past him trying to make it to the staircase before he could stop her.

"This is blank," Elliot said picking up the tear stained sheet of paper. That page told him so much more than she could have possible written in a note.

Olivia looked up at him for a second. "I changed my mind." She turned back around and continued down the stairs.

Elliot dropped his bag in the floor and went after her. This time he had to stop her and make her hear him. He couldn't let her get away like he did the last time. He needed her. And he needed her to know it.

"Olivia, please stay. Just for a minute. Talk to me." Elliot placed his hand against the back of her shoulder feeling her warm tan skin under his fingertips.

She stopped, but didn't turn around. She had started crying again the moment he touched her and now she couldn't even look him in the eye.

Olivia slowly sat down on a step in the middle of the stair case not saying a word. She brushed her hands over her face to wipe away her tears. Things between them were just quiet for a few moments as Elliot sat down beside her facing her as she stared down at her shoes.

Elliot looked down at them too, trying to think of the best thing to say to her. His only thought was to stop her, he hadn't really thought far enough ahead to know what to say when he did. He looked at the soft pink polish on her toe nails then moved his eyes slowly up her legs to her face. She sat with her knees pulled close to her chest and her arm was propped against her thigh. Her hand rested against her cheek and Elliot watched her as she twisted her manicured fingers nervously in her hair.

"I don't even know what to say," he whispered. "Did I hurt you?"

Olivia shifted uncomfortably. "No," She said softly.

Elliot leaned back against the carpeted stairs as he moved his arm behind her and slid his hand gently into hers locking their fingers together. He listened as she sniffled and began drawing in short shallow breaths.

"This was not supposed to happen," she said softly. "We are not supposed to be like this." She turned her tear filled eyes to look into his.

Elliot slid his arm into the small of her back and cupped his hand against the side of her face. "Olivia, I can't lose you."

He watched her eyes as he squeezed her hand tight in his and raised it to his lips kissing it softly. "Tell me what is bothering you. We can work through this."

She sat quietly and didn't answer him. "Look, I'll understand if you want to walk out that door and go back to the way things were two days ago. Before we kissed and touched and…. But I need you to know that I don't want to. What happened last night was incredible. And you may regret it now, but we both knew exactly what we were doing. Liv, you are my best friend and my partner. You mean more to me than anyone. I have had these feelings for you for years and unless I am badly mistaken you have felt it too. I could see it in your eyes. And last night, when we were making love I saw it in your eyes. You wanted it to happen as bad as I did. Olivia, how could something that felt so right be wrong?"

A worried look crossed her face and she looked away from him again. "It was wrong, Elliot. We could lose everything. And it can never happen again." She looked back at him and her eyes stared into his.

"Tell me that we are going to be okay," Elliot looked at her as he opened his palm against hers. "I can't go through life with out my best friend."

"I have never been so scared of losing anything in my whole life," she whispered as she looked over her shoulder at him and squeezed her hand.

"Yeah?" Elliot said wiping away one of his own tears.

"Yeah." She smiled just a little. It was weary and shy, but it was a smile.

Elliot brushed her hair back from her eyes and pressed his forehead against hers to stare into her eyes.

"So you're not gonna dump me for a new partner?" He asked trying to ease the tension between them.

"Na, I've kinda gotten used to having you around. Besides, you have already worked with just about everyone else in the department and nobody else will put up with you." She smiled at him and they both laughed.

"Good. I was hoping I wouldn't have to go out and search for a new best friend either."

"Elliot, I can't stop being your friend."

"Oh, why is that?"

"You have way too much dirt on me!"

"That's right, I do!"

They both laughed again and he hugged her.

As he did, Olivia closed her eyes and breathed in his scent remembering the way he made her feel when he held her. There was too much at stake to ditch logic and follow her heart. As much as she knew she could be happy with him, she would never forgive herself if it didn't work out and she ended up losing him. Life was not a fairy tale. And here in the real world there was not always a happy ending.

After a couple of days of awkwardness between them, things had pretty much retuned to normal. Olivia had been giving herself the shots and they had agreed to keep their appointment with the clinic for their fourth cycle of in vitro.

Three weeks later Olivia had stopped by work on her day off to pick a few things up. Elliot watched her buzz around the room searching for a file she needed to take home and finish a report on.

She was wearing a dress. Nothing fancy. More simple like the sundress she wore to their brunch with Brian the day before his wedding. The straps were thin like a tank top and she wore a thin white sweater with it. She looked so soft with her hair down and wavy.

He poured himself a cup of coffee as she tossed the file on her desk and went to get something out of her locker. Elliot followed her back to talk to her about the case when he realized she had gone in to give herself her daily hormone shot.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was why you were coming back here."

She laughed. "It's okay. You have done this about a hundred times. I still can't get used to it."

"Here," he said reaching for the needle.

She looked at him and handed him the needle.

She stared ahead and leaned back against the wall as Elliot moved her skirt up her hip to give her the shot. Her skin was smooth and soft and it wasn't long before Elliot realized felt his body reacting to the sight of her long, tan leg stretched in front of him. She wore bikini underwear and the thin strap ran across her hip bone. For a moment his mind flashed back to that night. The way she looked, the way she smelled and the way she felt. He took a deep breath and gave her the shot. He had to get out of here before she realized how excited he was by all of this.

Olivia wrinkled her nose and rubbed her hip. Elliot placed his hand over hers and stared into her eyes. He leaned in close to her for a second as his nose brushed lightly against hers. Neither of them could even blink as they both breathed heavily.

Olivia trembled just a little and pressed her lips together. He leaned in and placed his bottom lip against hers anticipating another sexy kiss like they had shared that night. Another second and his tongue pushed its way past her full lips and was touching hers. Olivia moaned softly as she placed her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him back. Before her knew it Elliot has slid both hands under the floral skirt and had them cupped against her perfect ass and pulled her hips hard against his as they continued kissing. Now she knew exactly what he had in mind.

Elliot reached up to her shoulders pushing the soft sweater to the floor with one hand as his other grabbed her by the waist and spun them in a semi circle and slammed them into the lockers. Olivia gasped for air and moaned into his shirt as she struggled with the button on his slacks.

He had lit a fire inside her and her hormones were now in overdrive. Elliot grasped the thin strap on over each of her hips pulling down her underwear as the stepped out of them. Somehow when he had moved them she had kicked off her slip on sandals and now stood barefoot with her pretty painted toes and her sexy underwear in the floor between her ankles.

Elliot placed one hand on her cheek and kissed her passionately. Olivia moved her hands over his chest to unbutton his shirt and slid her hands under his undershirt. Elliot raised her leg and moved his hand smoothly to grasp her thigh as he guided himself inside her.

Olivia stood on her tip toes on one foot as she gasped and moaned and held tight to his waist. This time was so different from the last, they were fast and a little rough as they slammed up against the lockers for leverage. After banging her head hard against the lockers a few times Olivia laughed and raised her arm to soften the blow.

A little while later Elliot moved his hands under her skirt again and raised her up. Olivia put her legs around his waist as he backed up and sat down on the bench behind them. She adjusted herself on his lap and they kept going.

With both hands now under her skirt Elliot guided her hips moving her body hard against his. He kissed across her neck and moved his hand up her back under the dress. Olivia moaned sometimes so loudly he was sure someone would hear them and bust the door down. He pressed his mouth against hers and she moaned through his kisses.

A few more thrusts pushed her into a strong orgasm and he pulled her body against his chest as she pressed her forehead to his chest and moaned against him. Within seconds Elliot himself reach his finish as well.

She moved slowly over him, kissing him with strong deep kisses almost cooing into his mouth. Olivia exhaled and kissed his neck as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"That was amazing," she whispered with a soft laugh.

"Yeah it was."

They stared into each others eyes and just breathed for a minute, him still inside of her. Trying to recover from the workout they had just had.

"You're not going to freak out about this are you?" He asked only half joking with his arms tight around her.

"I'm okay. Well, I am very good." She smiled and rolled her eyes.

"I would hope that was better than okay. I had to cover your mouth to keep you from screaming."

She laughed again.

Elliot kissed her lips as she shifted onto her knees on the bench. Olivia closed her eyes as she raised up and off of him. She groaned quietly, the loss of him almost hurt. Elliot exhaled deeply as he zipped his pants.

"You okay?" She asked kissing his lips.

"Yeah, just a little wore out." Olivia smiled and Elliot placed his hand behind her head and kissed her again. "We are so good together, Liv."

"Did you…" she started to ask with a shy look.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Did you?"

"Oh yeah. A couple of times."

They both laughed and he kissed her forehead and pulled her into his arms. Elliot locked his fingers tight in hers as realization set in.

"I know you don't want to be like this."

Olivia sat up beside him and looked at him.

"It isn't that I don't want to, Elliot. I am incredibly attracted to you. And it doesn't help that this keeps happening."

"I'm crazy about you Olivia. I always have been."

She smiled a soft smile. She stood up to adjust her dress and put her underwear back on. Then looked at him.

"I am just not ready to date anyone right now. I mean with work and the mess I have made of my life…. I swore off men, Elliot! After my last dating disaster I decided not to date! I just wanted to live my life for me for a while. And focus on my career and bettering my life. Then we decided to try to have a baby. And I wanted that more than anything. I didn't want to get mixed up with some guy and have to try to explain all of this or worry about his feelings about my pregnancy. And I honestly never would have saw this coming. Now I sit here with you and we just had really incredible sex for the second time and…."

"And what?"

"And I can't help but wonder how much of this is just hormones Elliot. From the fact that we have been holding this attraction back for the last eleven years. I mean the sex is great, El. But I would rather have you as my best friend forever than keep you as my boyfriend for a little while and then lose you."

"Whose to say you would lose me?"

"Elliot I suck at relationships! I have never dated anyone for longer than two years! And that was my college boyfriend who was cheating on me the entire time!"

"I would never cheat on you!"

"I know that."

"You have already said that I am the longest relationship you have ever had with a man. That is a good sign."

"As friends Elliot. Sex and relationships complicate things."

"So, what then? This is it. Two amazing sexual encounters and we're over?"

"I just really want to take things one step at a time. Right now I am trying to focus on this baby thing. It just isn't a good time for a new relationship."

"Okay. We focus on getting pregnant first. And you are not dating. Just promise me that when you decide to start dating again, you will at least give me a chance."

Olivia cocked her head to look at him and smiled.

"We can make a deal from the beginning, at the first sign of our friendship suffering we end it. Friends first," he said hoping to convince her.

"Okay."

Elliot stood up as they walked toward the door. He leaned against it and looked at her. "I am going to miss the amazing sex though."

She smiled, "yeah me too."

They walked back toward the squad room and sat down at their desks. Olivia flipped through another file gathering her things to leave. Elliot looked at her for a second before she noticed him staring and smiled back at him. He took a scrap of paper and scribbled a message on it and passed it across the desk to her.

Olivia took the note and smiled at him. This felt a little like junior high, she thought for a moment. She unfolded the paper to read his question inside.

"Why don't we do this the old fashioned way?" The words leaped from the paper to and captured her attention. She folded up the note and tossed it in the trash can beside her desk. Elliot watched as she considered his proposition. She picked up the phone and dialed a number.

Olivia's eyes met his across the desk.

"Yes, this is Olivia Benson…. I need to cancel my appointment. Yes. Thank you."

She hung up the phone and stared at Elliot across the desk as he smiled back at her.


	9. 9 Rendezvous

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Nine: Rendezvous)_

Olivia looked down at her watch, it was nearly six thirty and she was supposed to meet Elliot at her apartment in half an hour for their first rendezvous or whatever it was considered when you have sex solely for the purpose of getting pregnant. She had gone to court in the afternoon and hadn't seen him since lunch. After work she had a lot of errands to run and she was hoping she would get back to meet him on time. She shoved her grocery bags into the back seat of her car and headed to the apartment.

"Great," Olivia muttered when she pulled up and realized Elliot was already inside. She hated being late for anything and even though this was only Elliot and he probably wouldn't mind anyway, she didn't want to be rude. She got of the elevator and walked down the hall, bags in hand. She put her key into the door and opened it to see Elliot standing next to the counter with a dozen roses in a vase.

She just stood there for a minute looking a little confused.

"Hi," he said sitting the vase on the table and rushing to help her with groceries.

"Hi, El. Sorry I'm late."

"You're not late Olivia. We said seven, it is just now seven."

"What is this?"

"Flowers."

She smiled and shook her head. "But why, Elliot?"

"Just because," he said taking her hand in his.

She stared at him and smiled a shy smile.

"Look, I am a grown man. If I want to buy you roses, I am going to buy you roses." He looked into her eyes. "Olivia, you are the future mother of my child and my best friend. Hopefully, tonight is the night. These are for luck."

"They are beautiful, Elliot." She leaned over to smell them as Elliot watched her.

"I also got wine. I figured this might be a little….awkward and it could help break the ice. Oh, and I made a reservation."

"A reservation? Elliot, this is all too much."

"Yes, a reservation. For Antonia's down the street. Olivia, how is this too much?"

"I just…I mean we agreed that this was only about getting pregnant."

"And you think that because we had an arrangement to meet up and have sex until you get pregnant, that you don't deserve romance? Olivia, I don't expect you to just jump into bed ready to go and in the mood at the snap of my fingers. I don't know any woman who can do that. And I figured, this first time would be a little nerve wrecking. Elliot took a deep breath. I just thought it could help loosen us both up."

Olivia just looked up at him. "It just needs to be clear what is going on here, that's all. I just don't want someone to end up getting hurt. Things get confusing and lines get blurred and crossed when hormones get involved."

"I know. You have already made it crystal clear that there is no interest in a relationship, Olivia."

"That is not what I said, Elliot. I just don't want to date right now. Not anyone. Maybe this was a bad idea." She turned to walk down the hall.

"Liv, wait. I didn't mean to snap on you like that. It is just hard for me to stand here and want something so bad and know that I can't have it. I want more than sex with you. But I understand, where you are coming from and I know that this is only about getting pregnant. For now, that will have to do."

"Are you sure you still want to do this? I can call them back and get another appointment."

"I want to do this." Elliot took her hand in his and squeezed it tight. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I have another idea. This is making you uncomfortable. Why don't I cancel the reservation and I will run out and get a few things to cook you dinner? We can just stay in. Put a few candles on the table and put on some soft music. And we can actually discuss some of this stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Likes and dislikes. Olivia, I don't even know what turns you on."

She took a deep breath.

"I mean, if we are going to do this it might be good to know stuff like that about each other. You heard that doctor, it doesn't do me any good to…..if you don't."

Olivia smiled nervously at the thought of him not being able to say orgasm. She knew that talking about this with her was not exactly comfortable for Elliot either.

"Liv, I know we can do this. We have already done it twice and it was incredible both times. We just need to be able to relax and not think about it. Once we get past this part, I know the rest will work out fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. So I will be back in about forty minutes. Any idea what you want to eat?"

"Anything, I'm starving."

"Alright," he laughed and kissed her forehead. "This is going to work out."

Elliot hugged her tight for a moment then headed out the door.

Olivia stood by the counter for a moment thinking then headed for her bedroom. She grabbed an inviting red dress from her closet and tossed it on the bed. If Elliot was willing to make the extra effort to do something nice for her, she was too. Besides, she knew how to command attention from men. She had just never really thought she would find herself using these powers on him. But the more she turned him on the better chance of her getting pregnant.

She went to her lingerie drawer and pulled a black lace see thru bra and a thong. She held the thong up in her fingers and stared at it for a second. "Maybe not the first night," she said tossing it back into the drawer and settling to the less threatening but equally sexy see thru bikini cut panties. She nodded her head and tossed them on the bed beside the dress.

She pulled her hair up in a clip and pulled off the clothes she had worn to work that day stepping into the shower. Somehow she had to make him see her different here than he did at work. Like she were two different Olivia's. A few minutes later she climbed out of the shower and dried off.

She went in and sat on the bed applying seductive smelling lotion to every inch of her body before slipping on her underwear. She walked back to the bathroom mirror and touched up her make up and fixed her hair. She stood there for a second looking at herself in the mirror as a smile crossed her face. She went back to the dresser and tossed the drawers until she came across another pair of thigh high stockings, he liked those so much before. She sat down on the bed and rolled them up her long legs then stepped into the dress. It fit just a little tighter than the last time she had wore it nearly two years ago, but looked incredible and did wonderful things for her bust line.

"This is so bad," she said to herself staring into the mirror. "He is not even going to know what hit him." She sprayed on her sexiest perfume, the one that always made him raise his eyes to greet her when she climbed into the car. And put on a silver chain necklace with a small diamond pendant, that she had gotten from her mother just before she passed away.

"There," she said smiling in approval into the mirror at herself as she heard the apartment door shut. "And just in time."

"Liv?" Elliot called down the hall to her.

"I'll be out in a minute. I'm just getting a few things ready."

Elliot as holding a bottle of wine in one hand when she walked out and he looked up to see her. His jaw dropped open and his fingers fumbled to open the bottle as he stared in amazement. Her change in appearance worked like a charm as he now stood at the counter trying to hide the fact that he was ready to go right that second.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to try to control his mind and body. He still had to make it through dinner.

"Let me help you with that," Olivia said walking to step in front of him and slip the bottle from his hand as she pulled a corkscrew from the drawer and opened the wine.

Elliot stepped in just a bit closer and Olivia pretended not to notice as he took a deep breath of her perfume and snuck a peek over her shoulder at the all natural cleavage this dress accented. Elliot took one more step in behind her. She knew he didn't realize how close he was because the front of his slacks now brushed her amazing ass and she could feel his erection.

Olivia smiled a little and looked down at the counter as she gave his overloaded senses time to register everything he was observing. She poured two glasses of wine and turned to hand him one. "Here you go," she said softly as she looked at him with her best bedroom eyes.

"Thank you. I had a little trouble opening the bottle."

"You needed a corkscrew," she said in a low voice batting her eyes at him as she took a sip from her glass of wine.

"Liv…"

She turned to glance at him from over her shoulder. "Yes, Elliot?"

He was almost panting he was breathing so hard. "You look…..wow."

Okay, now his ability to form sentences containing more than three or four words was gone. "Thank you, El." She walked to the table and sat down crossing her legs and flashing him just a little thigh. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he squirmed uncomfortably trying to hide the bulge in his pants from her. But she had already been with him and she knew with the size of his package he wasn't going to be able to hide it for long, let alone be able to walk. So unless she wanted to carry him to the bedroom for their evening of incredible sex, she was going to have to cut their little game shorter than she had planned.

And watching him wanting her was actually becoming quite a turn on for her as well. Olivia picked up her wine and downed the last swallow from the glass.

"El, could you pour me another glass, please?"

"Sure."

Elliot walked to the table with the bottle in his hand.

"Sit down and talk to me," she commanded with a soft smile. And he obeyed.

Olivia smiled at him and as he turned to sit the bottle down she reached across his arm to pick up her glass. When he turned back around they were face to face and she stared hungrily into his eyes.

"Hi," he managed to form and she smiled at him again.

"Hi," she said softly.

They stared like this for a few moments and Elliot leaned in to kiss her gently. When he did Olivia leaned in further and moved her tongue into his mouth heating up the kiss. She moaned a little as she moved her hand over his face.

Elliot reached his hand out to touch her shoulder and when he did it sent shivers down her spine. Now she wanted it just as bad as he did. She broke the kiss and stood up to walk over to him. She looked down into his eyes and he placed his hands on her waist as he looked up in to her eyes.

Elliot moved his hand slowly under her skirt sending her panties crashing to the floor. Olivia smiled seductively. She slid his chair around backward to the table so he was facing her. Elliot moved his hands still under her skirt to firmly grasp her butt and pull her hips to him as he kissed them over the dress. Olivia leaned in to kiss him and he could see all the way down the top of her dress.

Elliot groaned just a little and she tilted his chair back against the table where the front legs were off the floor. She straddled her body over his waist and moved to unbutton his pants exposing his erect penis. Olivia looked down at him and smiled, this was the first time she had actually seen it and she was in no way disappointed.

Elliot cupped his hands on her butt again and moved her slowly down as she felt his erection against the inside of her thigh then he entered her. Olivia tipped her head back and moaned as he slid further inside of her.

It had only been three days since their sex in the locker room at work, but that had seemed like so long ago. And with these shots she was taking her hormones were raging and she wanted sex all of the time. Not to mention Elliot was huge and amazing. When he was inside her he touched places no man had ever touched before. He was by far the best lover she had ever had.

Olivia moaned and tipped her head back as she moved on him. She could hear him moaning underneath her as well. Just over five minutes in her toes were curled and she was riding out her first strong orgasm against him as Elliot pulled her hips hard against him and sped up their motion. But he wasn't finished with her yet. How the man could no longer form simple sentences, but could think clearly enough to know exactly where to touch her and how fast and hard to move inside her she had no idea, but she was not complaining.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his collarbone as he kept them grinding together. She could feel another one coming on and she panted and moaned into his shirt as he tightened his arm around her waist and held her through it. She could feel her entire body tremble uncontrollably as she fell at his mercy, but he kept going. Olivia looked deep into his eyes and kissed his lips as he sped up inside her once more. She could hear the gentle clap of their bodies closing the space between them as she closed her eyes and moaned. She straightened her arms out and pushed against Elliot's chest as she experienced the hardest and best orgasm she had ever had. Elliot slid one arm behind her butt to pull her in to him and held her hand on his chest with the other. She stared into his eyes and could tell that he was close as well. Olivia closed her eyes tight as she focused on the way he felt inside her. He was so incredible.

"Look at me, baby." He gasped between thrusts.

Olivia opened her eyes and pressed her sweaty forehead to his as he kissed her passionately. He raised up and was moving harder and faster inside her.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No," she whimpered and gasped.

She moaned harder and louder as he brought them both over the edge once more and she fell almost lifeless against his chest. They breathed heavily together for a few moments then Elliot kissed her passionately.

"How do you feel?"

"Exhausted," she smiled looking into his eyes.

They laughed together for a second.

"Really amazing sex does that to me."

Elliot smiled as he closed his arms around her holding her to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"That was dirty."

"What?" She asked looking into his eyes.

"You knew exactly what that was going to do." He looked into her eyes and they both smiled and laughed.

"Well you were trying to make things all romantic to get me in the mood. I wanted to do something for you."

"Oh, you did something….yeah."

She laughed again. Elliot kissed her forehead.

"Did you…?" She asked looking into his eyes.

"Yeah. Did you?"

"Oh yeah. I lost count after three. But a couple of those should probably be counted twice."

Elliot smiled and kissed her again. "Wait a few more seconds until I can stand again…."

She laughed.

"And I will get up and fix you dinner. You should lie down."

"I don't want to go to sleep."

"You don't have to go to sleep. But you need to lie down remember, at least an hour. And when that time is up dinner will be ready."

"Okay," she agreed nodding her head as she leaned in to kiss him. She laid her head against his chest for a second and Elliot cupped his hand on the back of her head.

She exhaled and stood up sliding him out of her as they both groaned a little.

"I hate that part," she whispered.

"I know," he said zipping his pants and lowering his chair back to the floor.

He guided her to the sofa and helped her lay down as he covered her with a blanket. It was cute, she thought how he pampered her like she was sick, not treated her like he had just screwed her brains out in her kitchen. Elliot placed a soft kiss against her lips and she snuggled in to the blanket to recover.


	10. 10 Saving The Best For Last

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Ten: Saving The Best For Last)_

Two weeks later at work Olivia sat at her desk minding her own business when she looked up to see Elliot staring at her. He had been doing this all morning and she had completely ignored it and gone on about her day. But now it was really starting to agitate her.

"What?" She snapped looking up at him as he smiled.

"Nothing," Elliot said shaking his head with a devilish grin.

"Elliot, if it were nothing you wouldn't have been staring at me all morning. What is going on?"

"No….I just can't shake it."

She paused for a moment wrinkling her brow in confusion.

"Shake what?"

"The sight of you in that dress."

She looked up at him with a guilty grin as she shook her head.

"Well, try to focus. We are at work and you should try to get at least one page of paperwork completed today."

Elliot smiled at her again and she grinned and laughed.

"Elliot, stop it."

"I didn't do anything!"

"That," she pointed her finger at him, "that right there! Stop giving me that look!"

But it was too late, he had her laughing and she couldn't stop. Munch and Fin stood across the room watching them as they both broke into laughter each time their eyes met. Munch looked back at Fin and they both shook their heads.

"I ain't never heard Elliot tell a joke that funny," Fin said shaking his head.

"I wonder what is up with those two," John Munch thought out loud.

"Probably don't want to know," Fin replied as they headed out the squad room door.

Olivia finally stopped laughing and looked up at Elliot.

"Was it that bad?"

"It wasn't bad at all." He exhaled heavily. "It was incredible. You were incredible. I just can't get that night off my mind. The dress, the way you just sort of pushed me around and took what you wanted. Really hot."

"Elliot," she warned pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah, I know." He rubbed his hands over his face. "We're at work."

"We have to separate this. We can't think about that while we are here supposed to be doing this," she picked up a stack of papers in her hand and tapped them gently on the desk to align them as she placed them neatly back inside the file.

Elliot closed his eyes for a few seconds, but she was there as well. Her face, the smell of her soft, warm skin. The way she touched him and kissed him and moaned against his ear. The way she felt inside so soft and warm, like they were made to fit together. And the look in her eyes all wild and sexy. The look on her face as he brought her so close and then pulled back not allowing her to slip over the edge until he was ready to let her. The way she stared into his eyes and silently begged for him to set her free. And the way she felt in his arms after she had collapsed against his chest exhausted from making love to him and giving him everything she had until she had nothing left to give. They were amazing lovers. He had never been with anyone quite like her.

He took a deep breath and looked back up at her filling out a paper on the top of a large stack. She was so beautiful and she didn't even know it. Olivia felt him watching her and shifted her eyes up to meet his. She smiled again, this time both of them serious. She closed the file she was working on as she stood up and put her jacket on.

"Where are you off to?" Elliot asked looking at the time.

"I told you this morning. I have another appointment at the clinic," she said softly. "I have to have to get another prescription for the shots."

"Oh," Elliot said nodding his head.

"Nothing, big. They just want to do the usual blood work and a quick examine to make sure there are no abnormalities because I have been on them so long, before they will give me more."

"You want me to go with you?"

"Elliot, it is a gynecological visit. Doesn't really even have anything to do with trying to get pregnant. Kinda like getting a physical or a check up. Thanks, though."

"Alright. Hey, can I see you later?"

Olivia smiled at him. It almost sounded like he was asking her out. "We'll see," she said in a flirty voice as she spun around and walked out the door.

Olivia sat on the edge of the examine table sporting her paper gown awaiting the doctor's arrival. The nurse had already taken blood and urine samples and sent them off to the lab for testing. Now she just had to get a pelvic examine, a pap smear and her prescription and she would be on her way.

"Olivia," The doctor called to her as he entered the room, "so nice to see you again."

"Thanks," she said with a smile.

"I'll have you out of here in no time."

She smiled again and nodded her head. She slid back on the table and put her feet up into the stirrups as she laid her head on the pillow. Thirty minutes later Olivia was on her way out the door with some paper work and her prescription.

Olivia hurried back across town to get ready to for her next meeting with Elliot. He was supposed to come over after work and they were going out to eat before returning to her place for yet another rendezvous.

She looked down at her watch. She had a little time, Elliot didn't even get off work for another hour. This time, she was planning a surprise. She was going to cook a nice meal for him and set the mood with romantic candle light and soft music.

She opened the door to the apartment and rushed to put the groceries away. Then headed down the hall to the shower. Tonight she was wearing a different little black dress. One Elliot hadn't seen her in yet. She laid her clothes out on the bed then hurried down the hall to get dinner started.

Everything was ready. The table setting was beautiful and the wine chilled. Dinner smelled amazing and she returned to her bedroom to change into her evening wear.

Elliot arrived twenty minutes later and they had a wonderful romantic candle lit dinner. They had been doing a lot of this romantic stuff lately and it seemed to really help them both to relax and get over being nervous around each other. They smiled and talked and flirted through dinner both knowing what was in store for them tonight.

Olivia had a smile she could not hide as she cleared the table and placed their dishes in the sink. Elliot walked up behind her and smoothed his hands over her shoulders as he leaned in to kiss her neck. He turned her slowly around and kissed her passionately.

"Elliot," she whispered.

"Yeah," he said with a smile.

"I thought we could take it slow tonight. Spend some time together first."

Elliot looked into her eyes. "Okay," he said softly.

He laced his fingers in hers and lead her to the couch to sit together. Elliot picked up the remote control to the DVD player and hit play not caring what came over the television screen. He was too busy staring at her to care what was on. He sat on the couch and pulled her in to his arms. She leaned back and rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. Elliot stared at the television screen at the movie playing, his heart pounding, waiting for her to tell him she was ready.

Half way through the movie Olivia looked down at his hand holding hers, their fingers were laced tightly together and his other arm held her tight against his chest. The way he held her made her feel so good. Safe inside his strong arms, it was hard not to have feelings for him.

"You okay?" He asked rubbing his nose against her cheek and kissing it softly. "You are so quiet tonight."

"I'm good," she said with a smile. "I guess I just have a lot on my mind."

Elliot kissed her forehead softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked looking into her eyes.

"Can you keep a secret?" She asked staring up at him as she reached for his tie.

Elliot figured this was some kind of sexy ploy to lead them into sex, so he went for it.

"Yes, I can."

She twisted his tie in her hand and pulled him to her lips. But instead of kissing him she moved her mouth to the side of his face. Elliot could feel her warm breath against his ear and it tickled a little as she spoke softly.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered, then looked back down at their hands still holding tight.

Elliot sat quiet for a second thinking about what she had just said.

"Are you sure?"

He looked across her face and watched her cheek bones rise as she smiled and a tear rolled from her cheek.

Olivia took a deep breath and turned to look at him. "I'm sure."

Elliot exhaled and looked into her eyes. "Yeah?" he asked nodding his head.

"Yeah," she said with a soft smile.

Elliot laughed and smiled the biggest smile she had ever seen cross his face. He placed his hand on the side of her face and kissed her passionately. "We're going to have a baby. We're going to have a baby!"

Olivia laughed. "Yes, we are."

Elliot placed his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes and kissed her again. "You took a test?"

"No. I had no idea. I went for this check up this afternoon and they did the blood work. The nurse mentioned something about my hormone levels being high, but I assumed it was from the shots. But when after the doctor completed the examine, he came back in to the room and told me I was going to have a baby."

"So this worked? Man that was fast. We have only been doing this for a few weeks."

"I am five weeks, Elliot. She looked at him."

"Five weeks?"

"Yes."

"But it has not been five weeks since we started doing this."

She watched his face as he contemplated their situation. Then he raised his eyes to look at her. "Martha's Vineyard?"

Olivia smiled and nodded her head. "That first night. After Brian's wedding."

"We weren't even trying."

She smiled at him. "Apparently, we didn't have to."

They sat quiet for a few more minutes thinking about everything that had gone on the last few weeks. Elliot pulled her back into his arms and kissed her as he moved his hands over the flat void that would soon rise with their developing child. Olivia smiled at him from over her shoulder. He closed his arms tight around her hugging her.

Olivia leaned in and placed the bridge of her nose against his cheek. "It's a little ironic. We spent over thirty seven thousand dollars trying desperately to get this doctor to help us have a baby. Then we ended up getting pregnant on our own without even trying, the very first time we made love."

"It's amazing."

She smiled. Elliot sat up as she faced him and he hugged her. He smoothed his hand over her jaw and began to kiss her tenderly. Before long he had picked her up and carried her to her bedroom and laid her gently across the bed.

He kissed slowly down her body across her dress as he slowly undressed her, his eyes never leaving hers. Olivia unbuttoned his shirt and his black slacks as he kicked them to the floor. So she was down to nothing but the thin slip she wore under the dress and her lace thong and Elliot moved his hands slowly under the slip pulling off her sexy underwear and tossed them into the floor beside his clothes. He leaned in over her and kissed her gently as he pulled his boxers off and slid gently inside her.

Olivia moaned a soft moan and stared into his eyes as they began to make love. This time much slower and more passionate that ever before. She placed her hand against his chest and pushed him gently back ad she raised up off the bed and pulled the slip over her head and dropped it into the floor as well.

Elliot looked down at her naked body under his. This was the first time they had ever been completely naked together. He leaned in and kissed her again as they continued to explore each other's bodies in the dark as he kissed every inch of her body. The blue of the moonlight spilled in through the blinds and seemed to touch everything around them. They made love for over an hour, slowly and gently, before they had exhausted all of their energy and collapsed together in bed.

Elliot kissed her lips and held her tight against his chest as he covered them in a sheet. He laced his fingers in hers and held her hand against his chest so she could feel his heart pounding inside.

Olivia turned her pretty brown eyes to look into his. Then laid back down and settled against his chest.

"Elliot?"

"Yes, Liv."

He felt her smile against his chest.

"What are we doing here? I'm already pregnant." She turned her eyes to look up at his.

Elliot cupped his hand against her cheek and stared into her eyes. "Celebrating," he said softly.

Olivia smiled and exhaled softly. "None of this seems real."

"I know. It is almost like a dream. I really wonderful dream."

Olivia kissed his chest softly and he tightened his arms around her once more as she brought her head to rest against his chest."

"Olivia, I don't want to wake up," he whispered softly against her ear.

"Neither do I," she replied as he kissed the top of her forehead and combed his fingers through her hair.

He held her there with him through the entire night. And that night was the best night of both of their lives.


	11. 11 Knowing

_**I'd Do Anything**_

_**(Chapter Eleven: Knowing)**_

**Five Months Later:**

Elliot stood next to Olivia watching the little grey blob on the screen as it seemed to turn little summersaults.

"It is still a little hard to tell," the doctor said moving closer to get a better look at the screen. "But if I were to guess….I would say you have a son."

"It's a boy?" Elliot asked with a smile of fatherly pride.

"Well, we can never say one hundred percent for sure. But this is the second time I have tried this and the second time the baby didn't really want to show us a good view. But when I look up from this angle….I am pretty sure these are his little boy parts."

"We have a son," he said with another smile as he looked at Olivia.

"Tell him to quit kicking me in the bladder," Olivia said with a smile.

"Everything looks good. He is very active I see. Heart and lungs look good."

The doctor pushed the button to print out the sonogram picture as the baby turned his head and you could see the profile of his face.

"He looks like you, El. He has your nose." Olivia said with a smile.

Elliot kissed her gently as they watched their baby kicking and moving around as he began to suck his thumb.

Olivia laughed and smiled.

"That is the sweetest thing I have ever seen," she said softly as the doctor printed them out another sonogram picture.

Elliot took her to lunch after the appointment to celebrate. He sat next to her at the table with his hand on her belly feeling the baby kick.

"You know we are going to have to get the nursery set up for this little guy," he said softly.

"Yeah. I still have to get pretty much everything. I wanted to wait to decorate until we knew the sex of the baby."

Elliot reached across the table and took her hand in his. "I have an idea, why don't we play hooky the rest of the day and I will take you shopping. Get a crib and the big stuff and maybe buy my son a few toys."

Olivia smiled.

"We can even check out ideas for nursery themes," Elliot suggested.

"El, it is just now noon. We have a lot of work to do on this case."

"Look, Cragen knows you're pregnant. And he knows I went to your appointment with you. I am sure by now with the fact that I have been to every appointment since this kids conception, the thought of me being his father has at least crossed Cragen's mind."

"Do you want to tell him?"

"Liv, I am proud of this child. He is my son and I want to be his father in every sense of the word. I want to be able to brag about him and show off his pictures and tell everyone how cute our baby is. I want to be a part of this."

Olivia moved her hand over her belly feeling the baby kicking inside her. "You are a part of this Elliot. You are my son's father. Nothing is ever going to change that. He is just as much your baby as he is mine. I couldn't have done any of this without you. I think we should tell everyone. What is there to hide? I wanted desperately to have a baby. We tried for months and finally got pregnant. This baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"I wasn't sure how you would feel about telling everyone."

"El, I couldn't imagine if he were mine and I wasn't able to tell people. I think it will be good not to have to hide anything."

"It will be nice. And you know he still needs a name."

"I know. But naming a baby is a lot harder than it sounds. I want something good, something strong. But I don't want anything too common. And I would like to name him after you, but seeing as Elliot Stabler II is already taken my options there are limited."

"Olivia, don't give this poor kid my name. You want to name him after me give him the Stabler name. Don't call him Elliot."

"You don't like it?"

"It's okay for an adult. But for a baby? Or a teenager? He needs a strong name a good name."

"Yeah, well we have four months to think of something."

After lunch they called in to work and took the rest of the afternoon off. Elliot took her shopping in ever baby department within a thirty mile radius of Manhattan. That evening they sat in her apartment in the nursery putting the baby's crib together.

"You would think after five kids, I would be able to put these together in my sleep."

Olivia laughed as she helped him up from the floor.

"There," he said standing back to admire his work.

"El, where does this piece go?" Olivia picked up a bolt that was laying loose in the bottom of the box the crib came in.

"Shit, I don't know." Elliot picked up the instruction booklet once more and flipped through the pages then inspecting every hole that required a bolt.

That evening cooked her dinner. He sat on the sofa and read the baby name book as she took a hot bath surrounded by candles to relax before bed. Olivia slipped into a large tee shirt and a pair of boxers and joined him in the living room.

"See anything that you like?"

"What about Seth?"

"I don't know," Olivia groaned placing one hand under her belly. She leaned in against him to look at the book. "What about Evan?"

"Trevor?"

"No."

"Oh, okay." Elliot stared at her.

"I hate it."

"Well what do you like?"

"I like umm….Matthew and Dillon and Connor. I love William, Ethan and Noah. I just don't know."

Elliot smiled at her. "I'm sure we will think of something."

"I am so tired," she yawned.

"I should go so you cant get some sleep." Elliot combed her hair back with his fingers. "You have had a long day."

She looked at him with tired eyes and smiled. "I am so glad you went with me today."

"Me, too."

Elliot smoothed his hands over her belly.

"I can't believe we are having a son," Elliot said with a big grin.

"I think we should tell everyone tomorrow. Just call them in and announce that _we _are having a son."

"Just like that?"

"Why not? Elliot it will only be a big deal if we let it be a big deal."

"I guess you're right. If we walk in and act like it is not a big thing then maybe it wont be."

"I am sure they will all be over it by the time I actually have the baby."

"Yeah," Elliot leaned in and kissed her softly.

"I'm gonna go. I'll pick you up for work in the morning." He placed his hand against her belly again. "Goodnight little man," he said softly leaning in to kiss her belly. "Goodnight, Liv."

"Goodnight Elliot."


	12. 12 The New Arrival

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Twelve: The New Arrival)_

**Three Months Later:**

"Everything looks fine Olivia," the doctor said as he lowered the sheet after her examine. "Everything is exactly how it should be at this stage in the pregnancy. I would like to see you again in two weeks. After that it will be once a week until you deliver. Any questions?"

"Nope."

"Have you picked out a name yet?"

"Yes," Olivia placed both hands on her belly, "Noah Matthew Stabler."

"That is nice."

"It took us forever to decide."

"Well, it wont be long now and you will finally get to meet this little guy."

Olivia smiled as she stared down at her belly.

The next few days were tough. She couldn't sleep and was tired and achy all the time. Olivia ran a hot bath and settled into the garden tub to try to relax. After a little while she pulled herself from the tub and got dressed for bed.

She tossed and turned unable to get comfortable. He back hurt and the baby was kicking like crazy. She got up to pee again for about the tenth time that night. She laid back in bed and stared at the ceiling unable to sleep.

The next day at work wasn't much better. Her back was killing her and the baby's feet were now under her ribs. She hadn't been this uncomfortable through the entire pregnancy.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked seeing the pain in her eyes.

"Just tired and achy. I couldn't sleep last night."

"Maybe you should go home, Liv. Fin and I can cover this."

"I'm okay, Elliot. I just need to make it through a couple more hours then we are off for the weekend. I'm just sore. I am enormous pregnant and it is uncomfortable. Nothing that every other pregnant woman in the world doesn't go through."

Elliot placed his hands against her belly feeling his son kicking inside her. "You give your mama a break, will you kid?"

Olivia smiled. She loved it when he talked to the baby.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You should at least sit down."

"I'm okay. I am just starting my countdown for five o'clock a little early today."

Elliot laughed.

Olivia stood up to walk to the file cabinet and felt a sharp pain rib through her abdomen. She groaned a little and placed on hand against the desk and one under her belly where the pain was. She was breathing heavily and looking around the room as she could feel the sweat beading up on her forehead.

Fin was the first to notice something wasn't right. Elliot had just walked out of the room toward the elevator on his way to court for the afternoon. Olivia groaned again and gasped for air as she felt another pain.

"Liv? You okay?"

"Something's wrong," she gasped with a worried look on her face as she felt another pain.

"Somebody stop Elliot!" Fin shouted across the squad room as Munch darted out the door to catch him before the elevator doors closed.

Fin helped Olivia to sit in a chair, but her pains didn't stop. Each one came closer and harder than the last. Olivia held one hand below her belly in her lap and held tight to Fin's hand with the other and she gasped and groaned through another pain. She must be in labor. She moved her hand over her belly to try to ease the baby inside, but when she moved her hand it was covered with blood.

"Oh, God." She gasped.

"Liv, what's wrong?" Elliot called as he rushed into the room.

"I think I am in labor. And something is wrong, there is blood."

"Try to stay calm. We're going to get you to the hospital."

She groaned trying hard not to scream and put her hands against her stomach.

"Hurry, something is really wrong." She began to cry.

"Fin grab my keys and drive."

"You don't want to call an ambulance?"

"It will be quicker if we just take her."

A few minutes later Olivia laid across the back seat of a squad car moaning through another contraction as Elliot held tight to her hand and tried to coach her through it.

It wasn't long before they were rushing her in to the delivery room. Elliot scrubbed up and put on a gown to go in and watch his son be delivered.

Several hard pushed and two dozen screams later Elliot listened as the baby made it's first cries. The doctor and nurses crowded around the baby and rushed it out of the room.

Olivia looked really pale and was still in a lot of pain and before long the doctor had to ask Elliot to step out of the room. He was worried. He panicked and paced the floor in the hall outside the waiting area waiting for new on Olivia and the baby.

Nearly an hour passed before a nurse came to find him and lead him back to Olivia's room.

"She is a little groggy from the medication they gave her in delivery."

"Is she okay? Is the baby okay?"

"She is going to be fine. They are both fine. She will be tired and sore for a little while. But she is fine. You can go on in and see her. I'll bring the baby in in just a bit."

"Thank you."

Elliot walked in slowly and sat down beside her bed. He reached over the rail and held Olivia's hand in his. Her eyes opened slowly and she looked up at him. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

Olivia smiled. "Did you see him?"

"No, they rushed him out right after you had him. Then you fainted and the doctor pushed me out, too."

"I hope everything is okay, Elliot. He's early. I was only thirty seven weeks."

"The nurse said he was gonna be fine."

"I hope so."

Just then a nurse entered the room with a baby wrapped tight in a receiving blanket.

"Mommy and daddy, I thought you might like to meet you daughter," the woman said as she handed Olivia the baby.

"It's a girl?" Elliot asked as they both looked at the baby.

"We were supposed to be having a boy," Olivia said looking at the woman a little confused.

The nurse checked Olivia's wrist band then checked the baby's ankle band to confirm the names matched. "You are Olivia Benson, right?"

"Yes."

"Well sweetheart, this is your baby."

They both looked down at the little girl as she stirred around and opened her eyes to look at them.

"She has you eyes," Elliot said softly. "She looks just like you, Liv."

Olivia smiled.

"We have a daughter," Elliot said looking at Olivia. "And she is beautiful."

"You're not disappointed?" Olivia asked softly.

"No, how could I be. This is my daughter," Elliot said as he brushed his fingers over the baby's hair and kissed the top of her little head.

"I just know how bad you wanted a boy."

"Honey, I wanted a healthy baby."

"She is so perfect," Olivia whispered as their daughter stirred in her arms.

"So what are we going to name her? I don't quite think Noah Matthew fits her."

Olivia laughed ad she held the baby to her collarbone and kissed her gently. "Well, I had a girls name picked out before they told us the baby was a boy."

"What was that?"

"Savannah Brooke."

"Savannah? Savannah Brooke Stabler?" Elliot looked down at the baby girl with a tiny pink bow taped to the top of her head. "I like it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."


	13. 13 A Perfect Little Family

_I'd Do Anything_

_(Chapter Thirteen: A Perfect Little Family)_

Elliot sat on the edge of Olivia's hospital bed as she held the baby up so they could get a good look at her. She stretched out her little hands as Olivia moved her finger tip down the side of her face and under her chin. Olivia unwrapped the blanket and brushed her finger over each of her little toes counting them in her mind.

Elliot smiled and laughed a little as he watched her. Olivia wrapped their daughter back in her blanket and held her as she kissed her little head.

"Thank you," she whispered softly to Elliot as she reached out and held his hand.

Elliot leaned in and kissed her tenderly and smiled. "Well, thank you. I had the easy part."

Olivia laughed. "Would you like to hold your daughter?"

"I would love to." Elliot took the baby into his arms and walked slowly around the room with her patting her gently on the back as she grunted and looked up at him.

"Hey, beautiful girl. I'm your daddy."

Olivia watched almost in tears as Elliot bonded with their daughter. He carried her back over and sat next to Olivia in the bed. He held her as Olivia combed her fingers through the baby's dark hair.

"You know Liv, I was thinking…." she turned her eyes to look into his. "I want to do this right. I want her to have both of her parents in her life. I was thinking maybe we should get a place together. Then I could see her every day. Help get up with her at night and early in the morning. I wouldn't miss her first words and first steps. I could be there for her. And for you. Olivia, please. Just think about it."

Olivia felt the tears rising in her eyes a his proposition. "Elliot, I don't know."

"Olivia, come on. Just give it a chance. Give me a chance. I want her, but I want you too. And I want the three of us to be a family. I know, you aren't dating. But I think we can do this. You and I. I think we can make it as a couple, if we give it a fair shot. And give our little girl the family she deserves."

Olivia looked down at her daughter in his arms as she made her little newborn sounds and looked up at them. She took a deep breath and looked at Elliot. "I think you should move in to the guest room. And we can take things slow. I have to do things right Elliot, for her. I want to give us a try. But I think it would be better if we just start off dating and work up to something more serious."

"Really?"

"Really," she whispered softly.

Elliot pressed his forehead against hers and kissed her lips. They sat together staring down at their daughter.

Just then a nurse entered the room.

"I am sorry, Ms. Benson. There has been a terrible mix up."

Olivia looked down at the baby girl in Elliot's arms as he pulled her to his chest defensively.

Another nurse entered with a baby in her arms.

"I don't know how we could have gotten this mixed up. This is your son," she said handing the baby to Olivia.

"My son?"

Olivia turned and looked at Elliot who stared down at the now sleeping little girl in his arms. His heart sank at the thought of having to give her up. It had only been a few minutes, but he had already grown attached to her.

Elliot turned the baby girl around to hand her back to the nurse.

"Oh, no sir. This one is yours, too. This is your daughter and that is your son."

"Wait, what?" Elliot asked very confused.

"We had two babies?" Olivia asked as Elliot looked at her.

"Yes ma'am. Twins. A boy and a girl. Somehow they were separated in the nursery. Her bracelet was labeled Benson and his was marked Stabler. When they went to take the Stabler baby to his mother, we realized we didn't have a mother by the name of Stabler. It took a little while to realize that the Stabler babies, belonged to the Benson mother. So this little man has spent the last few hours charming the nurses in the nursery. I am so sorry for the mix up. We will get a new bracelet made immediately so that this does not happen again."

"Okay," Olivia said softly. "But when did I…"

"You had him in the delivery room. Then you fainted and the doctor cleared the room. They revived you and minutes later your daughter was born. Your little boy weighed in at five pounds eleven ounces and was eighteen and a half inches long. And baby girl Stabler was born twelve minutes later, weighing five pounds six ounces and was eighteen inches long. Very healthy babies, good weights for twins and really good for thirty seven weeks. Well, I will leave the four of you to get acquainted. If you need anything just push the call button."

"Thank you," Olivia said with a smile.

"Oh my God, twins." She laughed and looked at Elliot. "I guess that puts us back at square one with names.

"You don't want to name them Noah Matthew and Savannah Brooke?"

"I don't know. I still really want to name him after his father." She said looking down into the baby boy's blue eyes. And smiled again.

"Okay. But if you name him after me, I get to name her after you."

Olivia laughed. "Oh, we are going to have our hands full."

"Now we know why they say be careful what you wish for."

Elliot leaned over and kissed Olivia, then kissed his son and his daughter.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Two days later Olivia carried her son around the apartment as she fed him a bottle. She was standing in the living room when she heard the front door open and the footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Hey," she said with a smile as five Stabler children filed into the living room to meet their brother and sister.

"Oh my gosh," Maureen squealed as she brushed her fingertips over the little boy's head. "He is so cute."

"Do you want to hold him?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"Can I?"

"Yeah, you are his big sister." Olivia handed her the baby and he grunted and started to cry. Maureen looked up at Olivia with a worried look in her eyes.

"It's okay. He just wants you to give him his bottle," Olivia said softly handing the bottle to Maureen.

Olivia walked across the room to the other bassinet and picked up her daughter.

"Can I hold her?" Dickie asked stepping forward with a proud big brother look on his face.

"Sure, but you have to feed her." Olivia said with a smile.

"Oh, I know how to do that. Mom used to make me give Eli his bottles. But I don't remember him ever being this little."

Elliot laughed.

"Dickie, Eli weighed almost nine pounds when he was born. He wasn't this little."

"Oh."

"So what are their names dad?" Kathleen asked still punching away at the keyboard on her cell phone creating a text message.

Elliot looked at Olivia and grinned.

"Well, we went through a lot of names before we finally found the ones we decided to keep."

"Daddy, what are they?" Elizabeth asked taking her baby brother from Maureen.

"That is Aaden Elliot Stabler," he laughed as he looked up at Olivia. "And this is Arianna Olivia Stabler.

"I like those names," Elizabeth said with a grin.

"Aaden and Arianna, yeah," Kathleen agreed.

That night Olivia sat in the nursery rocking Aaden and giving him a bottle as Elliot walked around the room with Arianna and fed her.

"We're quite a team," he said with a smile. "Almost looks like we have been doing this for years. You would never guess my other set of twins are almost fifteen."

Olivia smiled. "Well, we have a system. This way we both get up every three hours."

"They are so perfect."

"I know. Elliot, I have never been happier in my life."

"Me either, Liv."

She stood up and they placed the babies back into the crib and turned off the light. Elliot started the mobile and he and Olivia stood and watched as their son and daughter fell quickly back to sleep.

Elliot needed her shoulders in his hands. "We did good, they are so beautiful."

"Yeah," Olivia said turning to look at him. "I never would have imagined twins. Of course it shouldn't have been that big of a surprise. You already had one set of twins and I was taking those hormone shots. But I cannot believe we went that long and never heard a second heartbeat or saw an extra hand on the sonogram."

"No wonder they couldn't tell for sure if the baby was a boy or a girl. It was probably a different baby each time they looked."

"It still amazes me, twins. Our son looks like you and our daughter…"

"Looks just like her beautiful mother. Our son and our daughter. God Liv, did you ever think we would ever hear ourselves say that?"

Olivia laughed and placed her hand against his chest. "We should get some sleep. We have three hours tops, before they are awake again."

"Yeah," Elliot said as he moved his hand up her arm and held hers as he locked their fingers together.

Olivia stared into his eyes and smiled. Elliot leaned in and kissed her slowly and passionately as he moved his thumb over her jaw bone.

"Elliot…"

"Olivia," he stared into her eyes. "I'm crazy about you." He gazed at her for a minute. "I love you, Liv. I have for a long time. I want us to be a couple. To give this a fighting chance. Not just for our kids, Olivia. But for us, too."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "But you know, I can't do anything…"

"Oh, I know. I have seven kids remember? My goodness….seven kids."

Olivia smiled, "and two sets of twins."

"I am a very lucky man."

"You are a very fertile man."

"That, too."

They both laughed. Olivia yawned and stretched.

"You should get some rest."

"You're right," Olivia took his hand in hers and lead him down the hallway.

"Liv?" Elliot cupped his hand and placed it on the side of her face.

She turned her head and leaned in to his chest. Elliot wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She tipped her head up and stared into her eyes.

"We can't have sex, Liv. But that doesn't mean we can't just be together."

Elliot crawled into her bed next to her and wrapped her in his arms as she nestled in against him.

"Thank you," Olivia said softly.

Elliot smiled. "For what?"

"For being such a wonderful man. For giving me the two most beautiful children in the world. For being my best friend. And just for loving me."

"I love loving you, Liv. But I have no control over it. It just kind of happened. One of the best things that ever happened to me."

She smiled. "I love you, Elliot."

"I love you too, baby."

He held her tight in his arms and they fell asleep together for the first of many nights to come.


End file.
